My daughter has selective hearing

No real suggestions here, snaps, but I'm right there with you! I think our daughter's are only a couple weeks apart, too. We said DD hit the "terrible twos" early so hopefully she'll leave them early (course then we hear the threes are worse!?!)One day DD was throwing a tantrum (I don't even remember what anymore) and I whipped out the camera to record it to show DH. I thought it was so hilarious (thankfully I was in a mood that day to see the humor) I showed it to my parents and my mom said even at my worst I never did that. DD was flinging her arms all over, yelling, screaming, kicking at anything she could, rolling on the floor... I'm sure you understand. When I showed the video to DH I told him this is why there are days I want to run screaming from the house as soon as he walks in the door.DD's latest thing with us is the "no" to everything and running away when we tell her to "come here". In fact, she did that to me today when we were going to have lunch out. I was getting ready to put her in the car and she walked away. When I told her we were ready to go she just looks at me and says "no". So I counted her and after each count she just goes "no". When I got to three and went to get her she took off running. I caught her, picked her up, and told her we weren't going out to eat anymore (which threw her into a tantrum). The whole time I walking back to the hosue she's crying that she wants to go, etc. I had her sit in her timeout, then proceeded to get her lunch of leftovers ready. (edited to add) I tried that tactic today since most the time when she does this we'll get in the car or walk out the door like we're going to go and she'll then decide she'd better come. DH had mentioned the other day that that wasn't working anymore, so that's why I changed to taking away the "privlege" of going out to eat.We have found that, when she wants to, counting works and she's even usually pretty decent at sitting for her time outs (2 minutes since she's 2) most the time. Another tactic we try is couching things in terms of trying to help us when we want her to do something. Of course, DD likes to help us, so many times that will work.If DD makes it to tantrum mode, we either go to a different room from her or we send her to her room (and if she doesn't go herself we'll carry her there, though for us its getting to the point we can stand her up and she'll then go on her own). We tell her when she's done she can come back out, but she's not going to ruin our time with her fits.

Jessica has said before on numerous occasions things like "You no say no to me!" or "You no tell me to stop." Lately her favorite phrase is "I don't want to" to which I usually say "too bad, but you have to" We also have problems with her running away and trying to make it into a game. We try to get her to do something where she should be coming to us and instead she runs away. It is VERY annoying. My daughter is big for her age too and picking her up and moving her (against her will) with her being 38" tall and 34 pounds wears on you after awhile.:battle: We are using the 2 minute time outs as well and usually she sits there pretty well. The weird thing is that she is so defiant at times, but then she gets so upset when we are upset with her. She is really sensitive and gets her feelings hurt easily. She tells us that we "hurt her problems" (she means feelings) and sometimes she will do anything to try to get us to smile or laugh when we are upset with her. She will try to hug us, kiss us, make silly faces, sing, dance, etc. Anything to change the subject. Oh well, at least someone else is right there with me.

Oh Snaps, I'm so with you. And misdatabits, I never thought to videotape one of my daughter's tantrums. I'm absolutely going to do that. There's no telling how useful that might be during the high school years. I recently stopped doing the one-two-three count as a warning when my daughter actually did that for me. I can't remember the misbehavior but I gave her a warning and then she actually counted to three and I swear she sneered at me while she did it. Aren't they supposed to be teenagers before they do stuff like that? The funny thing is that even though she acts like she didn't hear me, as soon as I say "ok, that's a time out", she somehow figures out what I wanted her to do and attempts to do it. The scary thing for me is that because my kids are so close together, there's going to come a time when I have 2 two years olds and a three year old. Ahhh!:evilgrin:

My lovely daughter is 5 and still has "selective hearing". She can also throw the biggest screaming I haven't tried this yet, but a friend of mine took her son to the store once and he started throwing a huge fit. Kicking, screaming, on the floor, the whole nine yards. So she got down there and joined him. Doing everything he did. he stopped[FONT=serif] [FONT=Verdana]immediately[/FONT][/FONT] and said "Mom stop your embarrassing me." She did and he never did it again. Mine hasn't thrown a fit in the store in a while, so I have not had the chance to try it out.....yet. :evilgrin:

Welcome to the twos and threes! UGH!! Once when we were headed into the store, my three year old said she didn't want to ride in the cart and that she would not run away from me. When I told her she had one chance to not run away, she said, "Sometimes three year olds run away and sometimes we don't!"WTH? She can easily replace it with, "Sometimes we hear and sometimes we don't." She has the ignoring me thing down completely! I try 1-2-3 Magic, Love and Logic ,and timeouts and nothing really works, except making her come over to where I am and making her repeat what I said. She can repeat everything word for word each time, even if it takes her a few minutes to get her to do it. I have found that if I can get her to repeat what I've said, she is better. But really, if anyone has something that is working.....I do threaten to call the Super Nanny and she is terrified that SN will come put her in a timeout. SN had already left a note and one day she dropped off the House Rules. But it only gets me so far.

Ah, yes, the selective hearing and talking back. My now three year old had some hystarical things to say when she was 2 and getting in trouble. Once, when being counted - "That's 2!" - she relplied with "That's not your job Mommy!" I especially liked the tantrums where she'd throw her croched blanket over her head thinking we couldn't see her but she could still see us through the holes in the blanket and scoot along the floor still crying trying to get our attention. She'd move closer and closer and get louder and louder as we continued to ignore her. Now at 3, she still does not like going to time out and we get a lot of the "No!" and "I don't want to!" but we also get her putting herself in time out when she knows she's done something wrong. I babysit several kids during the day, including two babies. She knows she is not supposed to hit, push, etc. the babies. The other day, while I was putting one of the babies down for a nap, she pushed over the other baby who was sitting on the floor downstairs. As soon as I heard the cry, I went running down the stairs and she went running to time out. When I asked her why the baby was crying she said, "I don't know. I didn't push him." Yeah, right. They know. They just like to see how far they can push us!

Don't worry, she will out grow that... when she is about 32.

When she is good, she is very, very good..when she is bad she is horrid!! Hubby notices that I get sucked into her drama--he is much more of the mindset of either you listen or you go to your room. I always hold out hope that she'll actually listen... I try to anticipate the blow ups--she likes to take things with her wherever we go, so I get her focused carrying a book to the car (so she's not really noticing we're leaving) or holding a cereal bar (wrapped) while I brush her hair (then I unwrap it when we're done), that sort of thing. It's a lot of holding the carrot out in front of her. It's the insane days that make me appreciate the days where she's a sweet compliant little thing (they do happen)!

I heard the 3's were worse as well... but I have to tell u, I am not finding that to be the case. DD will be 4 in Nov so we are about 1/2 way thru the 3's and I am fnding this to be a very FUN age! Her imagination and understanding are exploding and even small things become adventures. Hoping your 3's are fun too!

Yes, know that you're not alone! We joke that our little one "grows flaps over his ears." We just try to be consistent and give consequences, but also know that its part of the age and hopefully he'll not be doing the same thing when he's 40. Just a note--its only a problem with us...no problems like that at the babysitter when other kids are around, and there is more structure.

my kids ALL have selective hearing - even the 25 year old!!!! My grandkids have it too! Maybe it's hereditary!!!! ROFL