signs of attachment disorder????

The breaking toys thing is hard to really say that is a issue. My brother (not adopted) use to always take apart his remote car trucks. Often when they were brand new, it was very frustrating for my mom. If I remember correctly he was about 6-8 at the time. Turns out he just wanted to know how it worked. He also used to pour out expense purfume and replace it with water, but that is another story.Sorry, I know that does not really help.

I know that this post is from last summer, but I am very interested to see how things worked out with that little boy. We are half way thru training and also hopping to adopt a boy between the ages of 7-11. These posts have been very helpful. Thanks, Karey

I am also curious how this has turned out. About 6 weeks ago we submitted an interest on an 11 year old girl who's diagnosis was listed as Mild for Emotional and Mild for developmental. There was nothing in her profile to make you aware that there were some issues. Well, I've talked to her case worker twice now and have learned that she has been diagnosed with RAD, she has been in the system since she was 4 years old. Prior to that, she was locked in a room for 14 hours a day and also abused. She does lie and steals things. The child's CW told my CW that she is a moderate level of care. She yells a lot. She is currently in an emergency shelter since the last foster home wanted her removed due to the lieing and stealing. I do not know how long she has been there. She is seeing a "temp" therapist (?) that syas the child is unadoptable and will ruin any family she goes into. My CW had requested additional reports on the child so that we can learn more about her. I am a little hesitant as we are first time adoptive parents (we have a 14 year old bio daughter at home). However, I do feel that this child has had a bad life and deserves a chance. Therefore, i am really interested on how the previous case turned out.

If the child's therapist feels she is going to ruin any family she goes into, I'd bet there is a lot more going on then lying and stealing. Some kids cannot handle living within families. This child sounds like she needs to be in a trained theraputic home familiar with attachment disorder in order to heal. If you are going ahead with this 11 year old, read all you can about attachment disorder. I'd also read the special needs and disrupted adoptions boards on this site. Dandelion on My Pillow, Butcher knife Beneath by Nancy Thomas and Can This Child Be Saved by Foster Cline are must reads before taking children who are already considered unadoptable.

Thanks for the information. I'll get those books ASAP.

[FONT=Comic Sans MS][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]Don't let them tell you that they had no other homes available - thats a typical line they use. (my daughter was in a therapeutic home prior to coming to us, and she is severe RAD).[/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Isnt' that the truth...... :clap: [/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]I heard that song and dance, believed it too.... Someday's I feel so inadequete to parent this child and others I do okay...:eek: [/FONT]

Hello folks, This is just my opinion. As far as adopting a child from a therapeutic foster home, I do have that experience. We adopted our son from a therapeutic foster home. He does not have RAD he is a typical boy who can behave and misbehave. In my opinion, I really feel this diagnosis of RAD is used very loosely and no one on this board who is not a professional licensed in this area can really claim which child is RAD and which is not. You would have to meet the child and, even then, they are scared. And yes, my son called me "mommy" after the first visit and he is not RAD. With that being said, I think the professionals should make the determinations of RAD and that every child's situation should be taken on a case-by-case basis. Bless the children who need a home and provide them with a future! God Bless you all!

Three Little Words, by Ashley Rhodes-Courter. Written by a girl adopted at age 11 out of foster care, she is 25 now. It tells her side of the story. I think understanding is the best way to be able to help a child.

That is a great book. My whole family read it (including my 14 year old daughter....a friend of hers even read it)...

Juli, I actually agree with you but think there are some things to be cautious about here. I think we would all like to believe that the people who make a career out of working with traumatized kids actually know what they're talking about. Certainly, most of us, having come from relatively healthy families, start out trusting the professionals and learning from them. Unfortunately, what is also true of the professionals is that they don't live with it, day in and day out, and much of what they have to say was taught to them by someone else or perceived through someone else's eyes. Unfortunately in our experience, the result is that about half of the professionals of any particular flavor, SW, therapist, or psychiatrist, actually get it and can be helpful. The other half are clueless and harmful to our kids and our families. The challenging part is being able to tell the good ones from the bad ones. How do I know this? Well - 3 psychiatrists gave our daughter 3 completely different diagnosis in a two year period, including potent medications to address those diagnosis. (She didn't live with us then.) They couldn't all be right, and in fact it was easy to see that some of the medications caused significant behavior and learning issues. For example, she was sleeping 2-3 hours per day in a public school classroom. So, while I respect your opinion and we all need help, I suggest looking at all professional opionions with a healthy dose of skepticism. When you live with a child you will know them better than anyone, and the professional is really just helping you understand what you're seeing. If the last caregiver of your child was biased or inattentive, then even the best professionals will have an inaccurate view of them coming into your home. The SW in particular will only know what is told to them, and it is much more common to report all the trouble you're having than to report the things that are going well. Also, your points are good in that often many posts assume far more than they should from almost no information. I would like to see everyone try to be supportive without drawing too many conclusions because usually not enough is shared to support those conclusions.

RAD is commonly found in those who are adopted due to lack of caretaking in early stage:grr: .My aunt who recently adopted a child is suffering from RAD.Its sad to see my aunt crying whole day because his son is not able to create bond with aunt and never uttered a word "Mom".She consulted many people who seems to be counsellor but all in vain:sick: .She is now dependent on GOD.I feel pity.God bless her! Even i was not aware of this disorder until i read this [URL="http://www.disorderscentral.com/reactive-attachment-disorder.html"]reactive attachment disorder[/URL] :thanks:

Maybe in your case. My son was in a therapeutic foster home and he has been wtih us for 5 years now, adopted, perfectly normal ADHD child. I remember when he was first placed with us and I wrote into this board. Some of the people here who claim to know everything, stated he was RAD. He is not. It seems that the term "RAD" is used very loosely here.

Juli - None of the parents on this board are doctors. None have the ability to give out a diagnosis. None do give out diagnosis. What we say is "there are lots of signs that point to the possibility of attachment disorder". Living with a RAD child is hell. It disrupts your entire life. You become a prisoner to that child. As a result, I will caution anyone to be sure they understand what they are getting into when I see signs pointing that direction. I would never tell someone not to adopt, but I would caution them about the life they are entering. Believe me, no one has any idea until they are there.I'm glad your situation worked out so well. I'm sure there are more stories like yours out there. But when it doesn't turn out like that, it really sucks. Really bad.

I think a lot of the people on here who talk about RAD, talk about it because they wish they had been warned before hand. If someone asks my opinion and it sounds to me like a child could have RAD, I will say just that, that he or she MIGHT have RAD. I for one am grateful for the people on these boards who warned me. Honestly though, no amount of warning can truly prepare you for living with it. My son has been officially diagnosed with RAD by multiple profesionals. Yes, those professionals went to school and learned about RAD and hundred other disorders. They may get continuing education in RAD and a few other disorders. I and several of the other parents here have pretty much devoted our lives to learning more about RAD. I have read countless books (some of them completely contradicting each other!) I have attended conferences, I have read studies and papers written by profesionals and taken my son to many specialists. I have learned a lot about RAD in the last four years. So if someone asks for opinions on a public forum I will give hime. Even if it's not rosy. I never claim to know anything for sure and all I can go by is what each poster says. I have not seen anyone on here actually diagnose a kid. What I see are experienced parents who have dealt with this, telling new parents that the kid they are bringing into thier homes MIGHT have RAD. Every time I see this warning it usually comes with the suggestion that the parent educate themselves just in case. Those whose kids have ended up having problems have appreciated the experience and advice given. I would think those whose kids had no issues would simply consider themselves blessed and not be angry, but I have been known to be wrong before. I pray for every child on here and for every child my prayer is that they won't have issue and if they do they will be cured.

When I first found this board, I knew nothing of the sibling pair we were matched with beyond their picture and the (scary) de-identified records. Our son was diagnosed with a mood disorder NOS and PTSD - he was "aggressive" and lied. Our daughter with ADHD, oppositional defiant disorder, attachment issues and PTSD - she was "aggressive" and hated school and at age 10 still had problems with deliberately pooping and peeing herself. I'd never heard of RAD and attachment disorders. When Lucyjoy and others listened to what I said and suggested RAD, I thought they were nuts. We trusted the kids' caseworkers and therapist. When our daughter called me Mom at the first meeting I just assumed it was because our biokids were there too and called me Mom. (I thought it was great!) Now my kids are diagnosed with: [FONT=Consolas]daughter: RAD, C-PTSD, Bipolar Disorder, ADHD, learning disorders, cerebral dysrhythmia[/FONT][FONT=Consolas]son: [/FONT][FONT=Consolas]RAD, C-PTSD, Bipolar Disorder, ADD, ODD?, cerebral dysrhythmia, traits of personality disorders[/FONT][FONT=Consolas][/FONT] [FONT=Consolas]The caseworker and even the therapist who'd worked with them for years were surprised.[/FONT][FONT=Consolas][/FONT] [FONT=Consolas]My point is - the people on this board don't diagnose, but as experts in the trenches, without an agenda... I trust them and they're often right. (Even though I didn't want to admit it at the time).[/FONT][FONT=Consolas][/FONT] [FONT=Consolas]Mary in TX[/FONT]