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So ...... my son and I were talking the other day. The conversation turned to a friend of his. I asked how old his friend's brother is. He said, "in his 20s - he's not a real brother, she's adopted." I have a placed son, that this son knows nothing about at this point, because of the specifics of my situation, I am a little afraid of his thoughts of my parents after he learns about the situation. Even if I don't go into detail, I know he will want to know why they didn't help keep his brother. I was so perplexed to hear him state this like this. What do these little people really talk about on the playground, when they are away from our watchful ears??????
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I think kids need to learn about stuff like this..
When I told my kids (eleven or so) they ended up bringing home their friends (from school etc) to talk about the adoption/relinquishment.. and my daugther brought home a girl that was relinqished and wanted to know about birthmoms etc.
Find her birthmom..
Jackie
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I am SO GLAD that I found my son NOW, that my girls will grow up thinking their big brother in the USA is just a fact of life. OK some hard questions might come later, and I know about your situation J's mom! So I totally get why your other son doesn't know. It just stinks that all this is so HARD and so COMPLICATED.
I struggle. I don't know if it would be better to have these things just be 'normal' or not at all. KWIM?
Hmm. Quantum, not at all sounds great if it means that the adoptions and the baggage that comes with them doesn't exist. I guess you could treat comments like that as "teachable moments." What makes someone a sister or brother? For example: Are D's sisters he was raised with not his siblings because they're only legally related, not genetically? Are my other two children his siblings because they are related "by blood" or not because they are not legally related? (This is from a person who calls her inlaws, Mom and Dad. My personal definition of family is as wide as I can possibly make it: we're all part of God's family and therefore related.)