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Does anyone know of an online social skills checklist for fairly regular older kids. I know of some lists for younger kids, and some for autistic and other special needs kids. But I'm looking for one for say, 8 - 12 year olds. How should they be getting along with others? How do they interact with their friends? What's considered regular behavior? How can you identify things that need to be worked on?
Any leads would be appreciated.
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Dear Susan:
Thank you for your question. There is a really good book that may give some answers to you but not necessarily in a check-list form.
The name of the book is "Raising Emotionally Healthy Kids" by H. Norm Wright and Gary J. Oliver, Ph.D.
Dr. Art may have a suggestion for you as well.
My husband and I are raising two "regular" kids ages 12 & 15. So we have recently parented the 8-12 year old age that you mention in your question. The "red flags" that I look for in this age group are: attitudes about friends and their right or wrong behaviors, attitudes about respecting parents and other adults, ability to apologize, ask for forgiveness, ability to work through a problem to think of others feelings in a situation, etc. If any of those areas are going to a selfish or inablility to learn as in a hardened heart I use that as a "red flag" as to what to work on.
As far as social skills for that age. We have worked on manners a lot as they have the ability at that age (11 -12 especially) to use their manners even if it takes reminding them again and again. They actually do get it right. The more we do our job as parents in a loving caring way with boundaries where needed the more they will do their job to learn.
If anyone has some reading suggestions it would be wonderful
to have you post them here.
Thank you so very much.
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You might be able to find what you're looking for in teachers' books and resources. Try a search on amazon.com for "social skills" and you'll find books like "Raise Your Child's Social IQ: Stepping Stones to People Skills for Kids" by Cathi Cohen, and "Teaching Your Child the Language of Social Success" by Marshall P. Duke, Elisabeth A. Martin, Stephen Nowicki Jr.
I don't know if these books have the checklists you're looking for, but they sounded promising. You might want to see if you can find them in a bookstore or library first to see if they have what you're looking for. Or ask the librarians at your local library (or librarians at the local schools - they'll have teacher resources) and you might have some luck.
Let us know what you find!