Introducing myself (contested adoption mom)

Hi all, I stumbled on this group while surfing, and I have really enjoyed reading some of your posts over the last few weeks. Finally getting around to registering and I wanted to introduct myself. My DH and I have two girls, one (age 5) through adoption placement and one (1) biological. Our oldest DD was placed with us when she was 7 days old, placed in my arms by her birth mom. The adoption was contested by her birth father, and after a long, long journey we are now in a JMC, and our DD lives with us and has visitation with her BF. [A favorite bit of our story: In early '06, we found out one day that BF was dropping suit for custody, and the next day that we were pregnant. We went out to dinner and just stared across the table at each other - didn't know what to say!] I wish I had found this earlier! I would have been posting many questions and SOS's along the way. We haven't found any other families living something pretty close to our story. But I think many of you have had some very similar experiences. One question: What are the right ways to refer here to birth mom & birth dad? I think I remember seeing that some abbrev.'s are ok and others are (understandably) not. Looking forward to chatting with this community...