Advertisements
Hi
I am new here. My husband and I just had a failed adoption at day 29. It was a stressful month since the birth. The birthmother decided to go back with her abusive drug dealing BF to raise the child. She confided in me so much about her past life and the BF. He didn't even want the baby. He has another child from another woman and doesn't even take care of that child. I am devasted, but the hardest part is thinking what kind of life this child is going to have. That seems to be the hardest part. Her whole family thought she was getting her life back on track and now she has fallen back into her old "habits". No one knows what to say to me. Some people just stay quiet thinking it's better not to bring it up. All I want to do is cry.........
Buddy
Like
Share
Advertisements
Sending you hugs! We're in the process of loosing our FS to an unsafe birthfamily, so I know the feeling of absolute terror for your child about what he is going to have to endure. I have no words of wisdom-- I wish I did.
It sounds like there is a possibility that they will not be able to parent in the long run. Is there any way you can keep in contact with the BPs (or other family members, if you know them) in case things go badly? Or is it appropriate to be in contact with DSS/CPS in your county to let them know that you are interested in fostering this child, should he ever need to be removed from his BPs?
Do you have any concrete evidence that the child is currently at risk of abuse or neglect? If so, you should file a report with DSS/CPS so they can investigate.
Good luck.
The BM's family is not speaking to her. She already has an older child that her parents are taking care of. They told her if she kept this baby they would not let her see her older child. We have spoken to her parents but they are so frustrated with her...basically they're done. We do not have any evidence that the little girl is in danger. I do believe the BM loves her little girl. I just don't trust the BF. His family is pretty disfunctional. His sister is homeless and his 17 year old brother has been in jail several times. These are the people the baby will be living with. We have thought about speaking to Child Protective Services to have them be aware of them. We also have leads about where the BF sells his drugs so we are looking in that too. I just want the little girl to be safe....even if she is not with us.
Wow, BradyMD, your story sounds freakishly familiar.
I am sorry you are going through this, as we recently had almost the same thing happen to us. I know how you are feeling, and believe me, we wonder mostly about the child's well being. Since that BM, we have had 2nd BM stop contact. It's heartwrenching, and so
sad to be on our end. I will pray that your little girl and my little girl are safe. HUGS
bradyMD
The birthmom's family is not speaking to her. She already has an older child that her parents are taking care of. They told her if she kept this baby they would not let her see her older child. We have spoken to her parents but they are so frustrated with her...basically they're done. We do not have any evidence that the little girl is in danger. I do believe the birthmom loves her little girl. I just don't trust the BF. His family is pretty disfunctional. His sister is homeless and his 17 year old brother has been in jail several times. These are the people the baby will be living with. We have thought about speaking to Child Protective Services to have them be aware of them. We also have leads about where the BF sells his drugs so we are looking in that too. I just want the little girl to be safe....even if she is not with us.
Advertisements