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of having our FD (well, we are 2 weeks shy of that)...relatives might be able to take her home with them.
They came forth 3 weeks ago saying they didn't know FD was in care. I believe this to be true (they are cousins with mom)---mom was homeless and probably hard to track down but lives in same town as relative.
We've had FD since she was 3 weeks old - she is now one.
I've left a message for the CW that we were wandering if we had any hope but haven't heard back.
The GAL thinks it's best to be with the relatives - she thinks I would want "closure" once FD is gone. Not really - I was hoping to keep some sort of open communication going. I would want FD to be able to track me down when she grows up if she has any questions.
My question is...after a year - do we have a say at all?
What if it's one week shy of a year? How do we get to have a say?
I don't want a tug of war ----I won't fight till the bitter end. I want what's best for our FD. Whatever that might be....but I think our bond is strong and would be upsetting for it to be broken.
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lvmykidz
of having our FD (well, we are 2 weeks shy of that)...relatives might be able to take her home with them.
They came forth 3 weeks ago saying they didn't know FD was in care. I believe this to be true (they are cousins with mom)---mom was homeless and probably hard to track down but lives in same town as relative.
We've had FD since she was 3 weeks old - she is now one.
I've left a message for the CW that we were wandering if we had any hope but haven't heard back.
The GAL thinks it's best to be with the relatives - she thinks I would want "closure" once FD is gone. Not really - I was hoping to keep some sort of open communication going. I would want FD to be able to track me down when she grows up if she has any questions.
My question is...after a year - do we have a say at all?
What if it's one week shy of a year? How do we get to have a say?
I don't want a tug of war ----I won't fight till the bitter end. I want what's best for our FD. Whatever that might be....but I think our bond is strong and would be upsetting for it to be broken.
What a heartbreak for you. I have spent all day today on the computer posting and reading about this issue. Look on the foster boards-reunification with relatives.
I am torn--I feel for the relative, how can you let a family member be adopted out of the family? Yet, you are the baby's parents. You are, I believe that absolutely. Curse the lazy social worker who did not do the research to find family sooner. I am sure they would have come for baby had they known-
But this is what we have--a loving, bonded family of a child who is not quite one. What to do?
1. Get in contact with relatives and see if you can build a relationship. Show them how happy baby is with you--perhaps they will be OK with being an aunt and uncle--discuss how you could all stay in touch for baby's sake.
2. If they won't consider leaving her with you, discuss how you could be friends and stay in touch with baby. Then you won't lose her completely.
There is no good solution--someone's heart will be broken. I just hope it won't be the baby's heart.
Let us know how you are doing--
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