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I am new to this site, and just want to say that it has made me smile, cry, and have hope. I got pregnant only a month after I had my baby girl, who was planned after my husband and I had been married for 8 yrs. I was shocked, ashamed , and didnt know what to do. My husband and I barley make it as it is. He was very angry- why, I dont know, hey - it takes two, right?
We decided on abortion when I was 4 mo. along. At the time it seemed like but no big deal, but on the hr. long drive to the clinic, I felt the baby move, as it were saying , NO! I cried all the way there, but still went in. It was the most horrible thing. I had to undress in front of other patients, and sit in a huge room with everyone in a hospital gown. The doctor was rude, and looked like the devil-seriously. While I was waiting, I changed my mind..I couldnt do it. The baby was older, and I had seen those pictures on the internet of aborted babies. My husband was mad, but if I were going to go to hell, it wouldnt be for killing my baby.
Then my only option was adoption. I wanted to keep the baby, but he, and my daughter would be miserable, not having the things they diserve. The only thing I could offer was love, a love that in my mind, no other person could ever deliver.
He was born 3 wks. early, when I went to the ER with low blood pressure. I was so sick, I thought I was going to die, and I almost did. I had an emergency c-section. They still dont know why i got so sick, but I know it was God . The cord was around his neck, and he coded. If I had waited any longer to get to the hospital, it could have been bad for the both of us. He was in the NICU 9 days before he got to go home with the family I had chose to give the REAL gift of life to. He and my daughter are 9mo. and 6dys. apart. I hope one day before I die I will see him again. It is open adoption. I was told I would get updates and pictures, but I dont want to get my hopes up. If I dont get to see him again, I hope my daughter does, and I hope she doesent hate me for what I did- she will now be an only child. When she is old enough, I plan on being honest with her and telling her about her brother. I had my tubes tied so I wouldnt have to go through this again. It has only been 2 weeks since I gave birth. It still hurts, but I hope I made the right choice, I have to at least think that I did!-sorry this is sooo looong!
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Hello. I tried to post a few days back but there was a problem with the system. I just wanted you to know that while I have no idea what you are going through, I am an adoptee, my heart aches for you. There are many wonderful people here who have been in similar situations and will be a huge support. I don't know exactly how active this forum is, but go to the other birthmother sites within this. there are many great birthmothers here who give give you love, support and guidance. I just wanted you to know that someone cares and is thinking of you. Big hugs being sent your way!!! Carolyn
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Now you know that your son has company! Our daughter's birthmother was scheduled for an abortion at 4 months. Something happened,(she was literally on the table) and the procedure did not go forward. 5 months later, the baby was delivered by emergency C-section. The brave birthmother was already parenting two children, and could not provide for another child. Her newborn spent a harrowing 12 days in the NICU in CA. Very difficult time, but she pulled through. My family met the birthmother two days post delivery, and she was relieved to spend some time with us and know that her daughter was in good hands. Even though the birthmother does not want an ongoing relationship with me and my husband, she was very clear that the baby has a green light to contact her once she is older. The birthmother has requested updates on the baby, and it was great to send photos and news of her progress to the agency to forward. I look forward to telling my daughter some of the wonderful things I know about her birthmother: Olympic caliber ice skater, devoted mother, and big heart. Beautiful brown curly hair and a sense of humor. So funny how life works out. This little girl is the light of our lives and gives her big brother a run for his money. She has a full bio brother who looks just like her, and I surely hope she connects with her birthfamily. My daughter's birthmother reached deep inside her and made the best of a difficult situation. And for that, so many people are grateful. I hope that you find peace with your decision to place. And I feel so much better knowing that my kid has some interplanetary connection with another child.
Thanks so much for sharing your story. Sounds like you did the best you could do in your circumstances, and gave your baby the best love you possibly could. I pray the adoptive parents will bless your child with tremendous love and respect for you for the gift you have given. And may God bless you and comfort you and give you peace.
Reading your story brought tears to my eyes. You've been through a lot this year. I do hope the adoptive parents come through with pictures etc. for you.
I am a mom through adoption and we chose open adoption because we felt it was best for our son. His lifemom agreed and i probably send her more pictures than she wants. We also love it when she comes to visit.
I hope you can find some peace. Enjoy that little girl!
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Cearle,
You did what you thought was best for your baby and for that you are a great person all of us here have some sort of struggle we are fighting but please know we are very close and will always be here to help you threw this I send you much love :grouphug: .
It dose get better and lifes dose go on