Disappointment

So most of you know our open adoption story. Anyways a few weeks ago adad emailed hubby saying how we need to arrange a visit and how he was thinking T should come spend a night with us (we don't live in the same city) before our baby comes. We were thrilled by this suggestion. Hubby emails adad and amom back with weekends we're available. Hubby hears back from amom who says they've rethought an overnight visit and would rather just do a day visit. Hubby emails back asking if it had to do with transportion and if it was we don't mind driving him up and back, but we both knew it had nothing to do with that. She emailed back saying it wasn't transportion just different ideas as to when an 8 year old is ready for an over night out of town visit. So, my thing is, I have a feeling adad didn't even discuss this with amom before bringing it up to us. I also don't think they realize how hard this is when they say one thing and then change their minds. We are very disappointed.