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I need help. My CW had an informal phone call with a sibling set and seems to think my family is going to selected for adopting them. We are doing straight adoption. I am so nervous, almost to the point of paranoia. After reading this board, I want to make sure I am not missing anything that may be hidden.
So far this is what I know....
Children came into care due to neglect. Bio mom never worked plan. I think they have have been in care for 2 years. They have been in 3 homes thus far. One was emergency placement, the other was a few weeks, and the last home for over 1 year. Is it normal to have so many placements in a short time?
Foster mom mentioned that the kids were aggressive with each other, but not with other children. She mentioned that both have been diagnosed with Adhd. It was thought they might have ODD but it was ruled out. They are both on medication for the ADHD.
Both boys are bed wetters. The youngest one seems to not always follow the rules, and may throw a tantrum or say bad words when things don't go the way he wants. It sounds normal to me considering the age, but I am assuming if foster mom is mentioning this, it must be at an extreme?
What do you all think? I am really concerned about RAD since I don't know if I can handle the parenting involved with RAD. What should I be looking out for? Is there anything in particular I should be asking if we are selected?
Thanks for your help. The kids are adorable,I am very excited but I am also scared beyond belief.....:confused:
my name is denice, my children were taken from me around a year ago, my youngest is 1 and my oldest is nearly three. i don't really no much about adhd or add but my boys were recently moved from one foster carer to another. This was just because the SW did'nt think that the first foster carers were capable of looking after them, i think this was because there daughter became pregnant and they needed the room. My boys have got some behavioural problems, well they call them 'problems', my eldest son is on the gifted register which means he is very clever so that can make it harder to care for them. As far as i no they will inform foster carers about these problems befor they start to care for them and sometimes they will have some training to deal with difficult behaviour, it might be good if you ould look into some courses to help and give you some confidence when these problems arise. My point was that they have probaly been moved so much because of circomstances rather than behaviour. i think you are a very kind and strong person to do what you are doing, i wish you all the luck in the world
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Hi GAMom,
With so much turmoil in their lives, some behavior problems are to be expected. Personally, I think it is impossible to know foster kids' true personalities until they've settled in and aren't under so much stress. One thing you might do is offer to take them, but delay the adoption until you are sure you can handle their needs. Nothing you've said says RAD or even anything major to me, but you'll know more once they've been with you a few months.
Good luck!
I noticed the dates on your post are very recent with a match - is this a new sibling group?? We are going down the same road -
linda3995
I noticed the dates on your post are very recent with a match - is this a new sibling group?? We are going down the same road -
Yes, the sibling set I wrote this post about ended up not being a good match once we got the paperwork. We were just recently matched with another sibling set and so far everything looks great. With only some minor concerns.
Good Luck! I have not advice other than read everything!