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I recently had sex with a "friend with benefits" (from now on referred to as "fwb") in a shower with a condom. He told me afterwards that he felt uneasy about it because of all the water around us despite the fact that the condom was not broken. He insisted that I take Plan B and I agreed. However, I had a lot of schoolwork and it slipped my mind until the 3rd day. I took the first pill but did not take the second due to assurances from my friends that it wasn't necessary because of our use of a condom. I also did not want to experience the side effects that came with taking the pills (nausea, tiredness, e.t.c.) My fwb became quite angry when he found out that I didn't take the second pill and by that time it was too late because Plan B can only be taken 3 days after intercourse. He is now extremely paranoid and checks me for signs of pregnancy constantly. I personally do not know if I am pregnant, and because I did not mark down when I got my period last, I cannot be sure of when I should be expecting it.
I am writing this post in the case I should turn out to be pregnant. I am only 17 years old and I'm in my first month of college. I know I have a great career ahead of me and I look forward to becoming an independent woman making my own money while also supporting my parents. I am against abortion, especially in my case because I don't think I would be able to bear living the rest of my life thinking about what could have been. Adoption is also something I'd rather not consider. I'm almost positive I would keep the child if I was pregnant, and still try to continue through school. However, I'm worried about the other effects of keeping the child. My fwb stated quite plainly that if I was pregnant, he would marry me. In all honesty, he's a really great guy and I think he would be a wonderful father, but we're definitely not made for each other. I feel as though we would drive each other crazy with only our child keeping us together.
I'm not sure what I should do. I know it's a long shot that I turn out to be pregnant, but I can't seem to get over the "what if" factor. I know that no one can decide this except me, but different perspectives on this matter would be greatly appreciated.
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Whatever happens, I would recommend canceling your friend's benefits" -- and not offering "benefits" to anyone else -- until you can be more proactive in the protection of your own body. "It slipped my mind" and "I didn't want that tired feeling" are not acceptable alternatives.I hope you are not pregnant, for both your sakes.
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That would be the time to worry. Raising a child is a life long experience. There are many late nights with little sleep and the total resposability for another human being. Adoption is a life long decision, one you can't change after you sign the paperwork. IF you are pregnant, I would get educated on all your choices. I also know many divorces happen when people marry for the sake of children. You can both be great parents apart, with less pain in the long run I bet, too.
This is you decision, so wait and see. Then get educated.
Blessings
If you are pregnant, after taking the morning after pill, and with a condom, wow, this baby is a miracle baby! Friends with benefits is not an ideal way to start a life together. You have not had to see him be committed to you and the foundation of your sexual relationship has been non-committal. Entering into a life long partnership in marriage could be difficult with someone who can't commit his body only to you, and who hasn't proven over time that he loves you and only you with all his heart. Also, it sounds like you don't love him or get along well enough with him. Adding a baby to a foundation like that will almost surely crack it. Your son or daughter inside of your stomach already has arm and leg buds and a beating heart. Go to a Pregnancy Center and you can get a free sonogram and a free pregnancy test and know for sure. Just one more thing to think about, if your friend with benefits might be fathering your child due to using a condom in the shower, you do know those are only 70% effective, right? Why not get on the bc pill if you don't want to start a family just yet.
Have enough respect for your self to be with a man who will be with only you, I know its the popular thing to do, but how fun would it be to get an STD or have your baby's daddy also father 3 other girls babies? Just be careful. Also, if you don't believe in abortion and you don't believe you want to become a Mom just yet, you can choose adoption and choose a family personally who you want to adopt and raise your son or daughter-cool thing is you can have an adoption with meetings and pictures or you can have no contact and anything in between because you are in control and choose. I would think your somewhat interested in or curious about it if your on adoption.com. It is ok to research all your options. Feel free to PM me.
In a few days you should be able to take an early dectection pregnancy test. Should you find out that the coast is clear, take this to heart and get on the pill, or depo or get an IUD and continue to use condoms every time.
If you do find out that you are pregnant, you have many months to make a decision. Best wishes to you! Good luck in school.
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Hey, 17 you are in a difficult place right now. Please talk to your parents. THey love you no matter what. Let them help you. Please consider adoption. You are indeed right when you say you could make a great career. You can be anything you want to be. It's tough having a baby. Pray about it if you like. Find someone who will support you no matter what you decide.
*UPDATE*I would like to clarify what I said. My fwb said that if I was pregnant, he would want to keep the child but he would also "take responsibility" and marry me. I lost my virginity to him, but we have only had sex twice. We both agreed that we did not want to get into a romantic relationship, but I still consider him a good friend of mine. We have discussed his past sexual relationships and knowing his personality, he would not have had sex with me in the first place if he knew he had some STD or anything of that sort. However although I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant, I wanted to take things into consideration in case it turns out that I am.
It is too soon to even discuss the "what ifs", waiting to see for SURE that you are pregnant is going to be the time for discussing the "what-to-dos". It sounds to me that you may need to grow some more, within, maybe some permanent birthcontrol, and the idea of a condom,no matter what, would be a great place to start. Your concerns reguarding "tired" and 'forgetting", are definately signs you are not ready for sexual intimacy with anyone, let alone your best friend. I hope you will learn from this and be more responsible in the future. We have all made our share of "mistakes", but please be aware a child is the most profound gift that GOD gives to 2 people who LOVE each other,not "FWB". I wish you much luck and my prayers will be with you....:flower:
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Hi
Im 17, still a Senior in High school and soon plan to move on to college. About a month ago i had sex with my ex boyfriend. It didnt hit me until about 2 weeks ago that i may be pregnant. I havent gotten my period yet its about 3 weeks late. I have already told him about my situation. For one he also doesnt live near be he lives about 45 minutes away and also lives a very different life style then i do. He said that if i am pregnant we will figure something out. but another thing i am currently going out with antoher boy for good while i have been with him. If i do have a baby i am wanting to put him or her up for adotion. I myself am adopted. My best friend has a baby and as painful as it is for me to say, She is no mom to that child. When i told her i was wanting to put my kid up for adoption she told me i needed to grow up and take responsibility. It really hurt me when she said that the next day that was all that was going through my mind.