Is it to late????

I don't think so. I think it's been a long time, they were willing to have it semi-open before and maybe you're in a better place to handle it now. I say GO FOR IT!

No, it's not too late. I don't think it's ever too late to try to open up communication. I'd take the chance and see if they respond. What have you got to lose?

Certainly it's not too late. I would take the chance and ask them. I hope they respond.

I hope you don't mind an aparent chiming in here.... I don't think it could ever be too late to ask for communication. Maybe you could send an update of your life with a few pictures and hopefully they will respond with the same. Good luck!

Another AMom here, I agree with Feeling. Send a letter to the AParents and I am sure they will be thrilled.

Something that no one has mentioned yet – which will likely get me thrown under the bus, but oh well.Maybe, it’s not to late, but one thing you need to do before you embark on this VERY emotional journey is to get your emotions in order. You need to be 110% committed to walking back into their lives and never walking out again. Open adoption relationships do not have a revolving door, you are either there or you aren’t. If you fear that things might become to hard for you and you might need to close things down again, then you need to take a long hard look at your motivation and the lasting impact of your actions on the child in question.This is a very serious situation. You need to be 110% committed to it before you make the decision to move forward. You need to have support lined up, so when it gets hard, you can work through it. You need to go into this with the resignation that you’re not going to back out, no matter how hard. So, maybe it’s not to late, but I can promise you, these parents are going to want some assurances from you…they may have already had to explain your absence once before…they’re not going to be excited about potentially doing it again.

Brandy, You are 100% on target. I had thought about alot of things you're talking about, but didn't know how to word it. So thank you for being upfront and honest. I don't think it's too late at all to contact the family. But Like I said in my previous post, a simple update letter and maybe photos would be a nice response from the aparents. I neglected to add, although I wanted to, that actual visits may be a long time coming. But then again, their adoption was semi-open to begin with, so visits may not have ever been an issue. I wish the OP luck and hope things work out in the best possible way for everyone involved.

It wasn't too late for me. Two years ago I had found myself in the exact same situation you are in right now (open/no visits in 1992, last contact in 1994, however we both drifted apart) I was told the door was always open, so I wrote my DD's a-mom hoping that it was still true. In my case, it was. However, I 120% echo what Brandy said. It took me a bit to think about the fact that if I did initiate contact, I essentially had to relinquish control of what happened next to DD and her family. Walking away again could not be an option. I was comfortable with that, but it's something that you have to be completely sure of. If it's not, then don't do it until you are. The other big issue that I was not prepared for is that your child has been raised in a closed adoption, with no contact, and is a teen now. For your child, this is less of a "reopening" of the adoption, but a reunion situation, and he might not be ready for that at this point in his life. I thought that since "the door was always open" I could walk through it and everyone would be OK with that and we could get to know eachother. However, even though my daughter's mom is fine with e-mailing and swapping pix, my daughter decided she isn't ready for contact directly of any kind. And she is old enough to make that decision, but it was something I didn't expect. In my mind, she was still a baby, not a happy teen with her own opinions on the subject. It took me a long time to really process that. It was a hard pill to swallow, but she is aware that her mom and I have communication, and the door is open for her when she is ready, and if she has questions, I am available to her directly or indirectly to answer them. Meanwhile, her mom and I are rebuilding our relationship, I get to see how wonderfully she is doing, and her mom is getting to know me as well. When she is ready, she knows that she will have our support in this. It's not easy at all, I won't lie. You have to prepare yourself for this journey, and even then you'll still be thrown for loops. There are times when I do want to go away until she is ready, that it's too hard this way, but because I drifted off before, I feel it isn't an option. I don't want my daughter to think that I'm going to walk away when things get tough, or let her parents think I am going to drift off and have to explain that again. I write consistantly, and do my best to show that I am in it for as long as my daughter wants me to be. Just go into it with an open mind and an open heart. But I am very glad that I decided to reconnect, and I wouldn't change that for the world. Good luck :)

We have what I call an open adoption, but only because no info is hidden or witheld. We only get to hear from bmom when she feels like it or whatever, which happens only once a year or so. We never hear about her, it's always she'll write more later, and how are we doing?Before the adoption, we spoke on the phone nearly everyday...and emailed nearly everyday as well. I adored talking to her. She was so interesting and talented and everything clicked. As soon as she place my dd however she asked for no contact for awhile. I understood her need for space, but I figured she'd open back up again and she never has. Now I understand she likely never will.I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to get the chance to know her better and for her to want to know us better too. I wish she'd ask questions, and vent and basically anything she could say would be welcome.Please re-contact them! They will in all likelihood, be THRILLED to pieces to hear from you! It isn't that rough to have a bmom pop in and out at random. It just takes some adjusting, even dd isn't that hurt by it. She understands it's very hard for S to keep up regular contact, and basically she's just happy with any tidbit she gets. She knows she's really sensitive to stuff and has to pull away when it hurts too much, or when things aren't going well.If you do need space, explain what's going on, and what you expect to need to change. And when you initiate contact, explain what kind of expectations you have. Be realistic and honest. explain your bare minimum, and your best case scenario. Let them choose what fits their life best in the range you offer.And, communication is 2-way. I hate that we send huge newsy emails with loads of pics and all we get in response is a one liner containing no answers to any questions, or vague stuff that is obvious.We have 2 pictures total of A's bmom and it's really sad for me and for her. I feel like I lost a friend.