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Hi all,
I've been away awhile, but am feeling the need to reach out. Christmas is always difficult (history of abuse associated with this time of year), but this year I am grieving the loss of a cat of all things. I know that sounds stupid, but Max was more than a cat... he would come up to me and comfort me when I cried, and would cuddle with me when I was sick. I lost him suddenly the day after Thanksgiving. And it has hit me harder than many human deaths. He was my friend, my support, my companion. And when it happens this time of year, when I am naturally craving contact with my daughter, it makes it much worse. People don't help because they are feeling very "family-oriented" this time of year and don't appreciate my "low-key" attitude... and with the loss of my cat on top of it, I know I'm a real "downer". I just can't seem to pull myself together. I welcome any similar stories, or just a sympathetic ear. Thanks to all for your continued support.
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Hi, Soprano...It's so good to see you here...we've missed you.I'm so sorry to hear about your loss of Max. And, no, you're not "stupid" for grieving him. I'm a cat person, too, and the grief I've felt in the past when I've lost a beloved kitty is very real, very deep. Our cats become a very real part of our families, at least for cat lovers.I still get sad sometimes over the deaths of two cats I had for 18 years. I wish they could have lived to be 50. I still have their pictures in my hallway and a collage of photos of them in my office.I'm feeling a bit sad, too, this year. Christmas is hard for me, even though I'm in reunion. It dawned on me just the other day that I made the actual decision to relinquish my son a few days before Xmas in 1971. I found a photo of myself the other day from that Xmas, and I was already looking sad, and this was a couple months before my kiddo was even due.Hang in there. And don't be such a stranger! Stop by and chat with us. I'm sure there will be a few of us hanging out here over the holidays. :loveyou:
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I'm so sorry about your beloved Max. You are not being stupid at all.
Our beloved dog...hate to even call him a dog, he was our baby....was 11 and died from cancer 2 years ago, my heart literally broke in two the day he died. I went to sleep crying for him and woke up crying for a very long time.
You are grieving for Max and of course his passing is still so very new, as others told me at the time, I don't think we will ever "get over" their passing but eventually, as time goes by, you will be able to think and talk of Max with fond memories I promise.
It hurts so very much right now but know that Max is your angel, he will always be with, watching over you. many hugs x x
Oh, please don't feel that you are being stupid. Connections to our pets (for us animal lovers, anyway!) can be stronger than to some people. They provide unconditional love, acceptance, and companionship.
It is good to grieve your loss, certainly not stupid at all. Let yourself feel whatever you feel. I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope your memories of Max will help you through this time.
I also have a hard time around the holidays due to family disfunction, lots of losses at this time, and in general feeling like all the hype and pressure to have the "Norman Rockwell" version of the holidays never quite measures up to the reality.
I lost a beloved cat last year right after the holidays. I understand exactly what you are going through. It is not silly or trivial. That cat was a great comfort to me when I was very sick. He was a real friend to me. I'm sorry for your loss.
:grouphug:
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Thank you all for your support.
Raven, you’ve always been so kind to me, and thanks for the warm welcome back. I have another cat, but as lovely as she is, she is my pet. I’ve never bonded to any animal like I did to Max, so my reaction surprised even me. I am in reunion with my daughter as well, and when I told her about having to put my cat to sleep and how upset I was, she seemed sympathetic and understanding. But she hasn’t asked me how I am or referred to the situation since. She has me wondering if I’ve been over-reacting... thus the post. It’s amazing how many aspects of our lives seem to connect to the adoption event in some way even now.
JustPeachy, you hit the nail on the head, both with your comments on Christmas and your experience with your pet. Thank you.
Thanks to all who referred me to the Rainbow Bridge... I know the poem, but I appreciate you forwarding the information.
And thanks for all the lovely stories about your pet-companions. What I’m only now starting to realize is that my attachment to Max was a special bond. Once the pain of loss passes, I hope to treasure my memories of him, as you all do. Please continue to share your stories.
Soprano, I'm so sorry for your loss - there are a few people in my life that don't understand how important pets are in our lives - they offer unconditional love, a sounding board for those days when the rest of the world is tired of us complaining and truly make us feel "wanted". To this day, my kids/husband make fun of me for crying on October 10th - the day the dog I grew up with was "put down". He saw me through the adoption of my bson so a little more than just a friend - no judgment. Now that we are facing the same dilemma with "their" dog (she's 14 and very ill) I'm not such an "alien".
Take care,
Kate
Kate,
It sounds like you had a real bond with the dog you grew up with. I've had other pets, but my Max was my "bud"--I didn't cry this much when my parents died. I'm sure some might be because he got sick very quickly--I put him to sleep the day after. I'm sorry you have another difficult time coming up. Just love your pets (as well as humans) while you can.
Thanks for the support,
Soprano
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