rejection,rejected ...reason unknown

I'm really sorry.I'm on the other side. My mother ended communication with me.You could always write to her and tell her that you will respect her choice and will give her the space she seems to want. But, you were wondering if you had done something or if something specific had happened that caused her to reevaluate the situation.Emotions during reunion are so complex. She may know exactly why she has pulled back. She might not know the exact reason.And, sadly, it's all too easy to say or do something that the other person finds offensive.... For instance, this wouldn't make me pull back, but it would make me do a double take: "i miss her, meeting her filled a hole in my life i had no idea even xsisted." I've always heard that our mothers are intimately aware of the whole that was created by the loss.From what I've read on your previous posts, it sounds like she contacted you about two years ago, so your reunion is still very young. She may just need some time, and she may come back. I'm really sorry. I wasn't given a goodbye either.

I'm sorry.There are so many things that could be going on with her, I'm not sure any of us can guess why she's stopped being in contact with you.I agree with L4R's suggestion of a letter stating that you'll respect her choice, but want to know if you'd done something wrong or if something had happened to make her change her mind about reunion. It's totally understandable to want to know if there's a reason for this radio silence.(That doesn't mean she HAS to give you one, but it's fair to take a chance and ask.)If your reunion is still pretty "new," it is possible that she could return contact in time. Again, without knowing what's going on in her life, I couldn't even guess what could have made her withdraw from you, and whether that might change in time. But it is possible...

I don't completely understand where you are coming from because I myself am an adoptee in the search mode and yet to locate my father 26 years now however you stated you would of been better off not knowing. I'm sorry however I disagree with you on that, its not that easy I've been looking like I said 26 years and there is always those questions where did I come from nationality what's my medical history ect. be grateful you did find her and in a positive note if that's how she feels walk away you obviously took time to find her its her loss I don't want to sound negative but I dwell in my search and I get so depressed with no outcome I have a lot of info names locations school ect and my dad is like non-existent So keep your chin up move on enjoy what you do have in life good luck and in time she might come around.

Linda, some people really only want to know things if the outcome is going to be a good one for them, and that's okay. That's how they roll. I'm with you. I'd rather know. My mother chose not to get to know me, and that part is okay. But, like you, I just needed to know who created me., and I needed to give her a chance to get to know me. I'm sorry that you've been searching for 26 years. But, I was thinking about one thing you mentioned: your family's countries of origin. Since you have a name and know where he lived, you may be able to begin your family tree without finding him. I did a lot on Ancestry.com before ever finding my father.

Thank you for taking time out to read my reply again I didn't want to sound cold if I did I'm sorry. believe me 26 years searching I'm all over the internet with family trees ,registries ect. I'm heart broken because I wonder if he ( my dad ) has ever looked for me again the not knowing can drive a person nuts. I have to look at other issues such as my non-identifying info states he was a heavy drinker maybe I would be walking into a disaster ,he could be possibly dead or in a nursing home who knows, as they say God works in mysterious ways maybe I'm not meant to find him. I did find my mother in 2 weeks and that was a disappointment not what I expected however she was found and I met her she refused to share anything about my father ( in my heart I wonder if she thought I'd like him more than her ) and that's why she did not disclose any information to me. She has passed on with all the answers to leave me on this crazy winding road wherever it may take me next. I will never stop looking no matter how discouraging it becomes. I pray that your mother comes around give her time. Remember she gave you up for a reason maybe she has guilt or remorse. As an adoptee think how a parent would feel a child they gave up knocking at the door or calling she's probably as scared of the out come such as yourself. Take Care and God bless everything will work out in time.