My husband is the only father my 7 year old know. Does that have to change?

I've sort of been there (my husband being the only father my son has known) but he's always known the truth about his situation. Adoption is nothing to be ashamed of...treating it as a secret sort of implies that it is. You might reconsider not telling him and instead, go ahead and tell him now.As for your question - yes, the judge will likely want to speak to him and if I am not mistaken, I believe Texas is also a homestudy state, so if you have to have a homestudy, the social worker will also want to talk to him. My son was a bit older when his adoption took place - however, everyone involved talked to him about it. As did we. Good luck!

Brandy is right. The first time he hears it should be from you (well, should have been years ago but that is the past) not from a caseworker or judge.Make it sound like the good thing that you think it is. "Your Dad who has always been here and always loved you is going to be legally your Dad." If he asks, you can explain that there was another father when he was a baby, but he was not ready to be a father and Dad wanted to be your husband and his father. If you are okay with it, he will be too.

I completely agree with this.. and have to say the longer you wait the harder it will be.

you should tell him now. It's nothing to be ashamed of and honesty is always best.

I'm jumping over from another board, so I hope you don't mind me giving my opinion. I would tell him now. Same then happened to my nephew & he found out at age 17! Talk about one angry teenage boy & he had every right to be. Everything as he knew it had been a lie. Not to mention it put a huge strain on the rest of our family by having to go along with it for so many years. So that's just my experience. I wish you luck in whatever your decision it.

Can someone please give me some info on how I should do this? I try to call someone for advice but I get so choked up I can not get the words out. I don't know what to say to him. I don't want him to feel like his dad did not want him. I want him to feel normal and that he is no different from our other children. What if he asks about his bio dad? What do I say?

Tell him in a story format...I have no idea what your story is but...make it simply a story without anything like...we need to talk to you...just as conversation about mom and dad before he was born. Off the top of my head perhaps you could say something like...that is based on your life: Before I met your dad we both dated other people but found out we did not want the same things out of life so we broke up and finally we found each other...I found out before I met your dad that I was pregnant with you and that was the best thing that had ever happened to me....then I met your dad and we decided to be together and be a family...and be the best mom and dad we knew how to be and have a life filled with love and happiness....then let your son ask the obvious question...dad isn't my dad? and then say something like...of course dad is your dad but you also have another father... Your son may not make the connection right away and you may chose to leave it at that but you have then prepared him so it isn't someone else telling him. My thoughts only and I am not in your position but do know that I would have hated finding out as a teenager or an adult that I was adopted and had never been told. Kind regards,Dickons

I love Dickons "story" format. Do you have pictures to go along with it? Pictures of your son as a baby, you getting married to your hubby, pictures of your husband and son, etc. Give the story and love a visual.I understand that you would not want your son to have a moment of sadness or pain...but life has bumps and your son's story ends with the love of a good man who is and wants to be his daddy. Tell your son now. Don't let a secret ever take away from the happy ending you all have.Best wishes to your family.

I like the story idea too. I would just be as honest as possible, ofcourse w/out talking down about bio-father. It sounds like you have a smart little guy and children are very resilient. I can only imagine how hard this is for you, but know your son will be ok. I also wanted to add that maybe before you tell him, you can make an appointment for you and your husband to see a family counselor and ask their advice.

I have pics of my ex-husband and my son. Also pics from when My husband and I got back from Vegas and had a wedding cake with Shrek and Donkey on top of it at home.