Keep an eye on this one

I edited that out and posted too. You got the respectful discussion required, and I just followed up on the term usage. We have not had this situation in a long time so I don't know that I've specifically addressed it and I apologize. We don't allow these types of terms actually being used to label members of the triad because they are so offensive and disrespectful to most everyone in the adoption community. If a member said "I think of my son's bmom as a biological incubator" and is opening that up for discussion on terms, that would be "iffy" but allowed for discussion. In this case though, she is labeling her as that and then goes on to make a point that she should be able to. For the respect of all who read and participate here, we need to edit when we see these things because it's just so offensive to so many. It would be the same if a bmom posted "That fake mom of MY daughter will not allow me to see her". It's not intended to be anything but derogatory, kwim? So when that's the case, we edit/delete and do messages. I hope this is clear, I'm still not awake...:)

Ok thanks Crick. I'll edit from now on. I almost did, but I wasn't sure I should.That mod thing is hard :p

It IS hard on these things because of the "grey"! That line of being able to discuss a personal situation vs. generalization vs. offensive to all....it can be a difficult thing to manage. I'm more than happy to take care of the "greys" and make the decision where it ends. You are doing just fine!:banana:

I see he's still using the incubator term... When we treat or even talk about anyone as less than a human being, even when they have done hideous crimes, we diminish ourselves. He really doesn't feel that there's a problem (even though he has apologized to birth parents he feels are worthy of the name.)