Independant/Family Adoption Advice??

Some of what you ask will depend on the states involved. Some states require that the adoption be handled by an agency. And some states have outlawed the use of facilitators. And some allow any of those three. So check your state laws (and her state laws) before deciding. Whichever you decide on, you will each need a lawyer. (If you use an agency, the lawyer may be wrapped into that service, or hired separately.) You need a lawyer to guard your interests, and she needs a lawyer to guard her's. Using the same lawyer is often considered a conflict of interest for that lawyer. Plus, with two states involved, it is not likely that you will be able to find a single lawyer who knows the laws of both states perfectly. So two separate lawyers - one for each party - is strongly recommended. Something you didn't mention is counseling for this young woman who may place her baby with you. Like lawyers, counselors are often wrapped into agency services, but not always. And their point of view is sometimes suspect. In order to have a healthy family relationship it is recommended that the expectant mother (and other relatives, as applicable) have counseling to be sure they have explored all the options available to them and are still set on placing the child for adoption. And as a lawyer will probably tell you very quickly, don't forget about the expectant father. He has just as many rights as the mother, although the steps he may have to do to exercise those rights may be different. (In some states he has to support the expectant mom in order to be permitted to exercise those rights. In other states, he has to sign the putative father registry. Etc.) You will want to ask questions about him, his intentions for the child, and if he is interested in raising the child himself. As for cost, see if the expectant mother has medical insurance that will cover the birth. If she does, that will decrease the costs significantly. Same thing with living expenses during the pregnancy - some states allow the adoptive parents to pay those, some don't, some place limits on them. Find out if she needs/expects anything like that, and if they are legal, and decide if you're willing to pay them. Again, those expenses are varible and affect the final cost of the adoption considerably. Check out options for travel, and housing, for you after the baby is born. Those can vary widely too. I hope that helps! If you're comfortable, feel free to post the two states involved - people here may know right off if they are states that allow/disallow certain options that are sometimes availible (like facilitators and living expenses). Good luck!

Thanks! That is very helpful. We live in Alaska and she is in California. This was only just brought up quite recently so I am just trying to get some idea of what it would be like. She is also only 15 and I believe is in some type of group home so I am not sure how all that works. Counseling is definitely important to us. I am just not sure of what we could convince her to do. So much to think about... I guess the first step is speaking to a lawyer here and there to find out what all the laws are. Thanks so much for all the advice!

Kathy We live in Fairbanks and are working on our fourth adoption. You will need an attorney and there will have to be a home study. We have done only one private adoption. If you need advice or help please let us know Chuck and Vickie

Thanks! I think this situation is not going to pan out but we are still waiting with our agency in Alabama. It's always nice to come across other Alaska families! Have you done an out of state adoption? I know we will go to court in AL when we get the baby but not sure how that works with post placement visits since we were told we will be done after going to court in AL and will not have to do court again in AK.

A little tidbit of info.: When 2 states are involved, you will defintiely need at least one and probably 2 lawyers because a document called an interstate compact needs to be developed. God Bless you on your journey!