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I haven't posted in awhile, but am becoming increasingly in need of support so I don't think I'm crazy or doing the mommying wrong!
My little one will turn 3 years old next week. The past few weeks his behavior has escalated beyond my ability to comprehend. I realize tantrums are age appropriate and at this age they are becoming more independent and there are control issues. I just didn't realize it would be this hard and am wondering if you all had seen the same things.
EVERYTHING is a struggle, adn I feel like I am constantly fussing, making deals, putting in time out, etc. He won't get IN the car when its time to go, he won't get OUT of the car when we get wherever it is. He doesn't want to go to daycare, he doesn't want to leave daycare. He doesn't want to take a bath, he refuses to get out of the bath, etc, etc, etc. All this to the point of screaming, hitting, crying, kicking (erm, on his part, not mine...well...I do scream from time to time). He;s healthy, well fed and snacked, sleeps great at night, and gets lots of attention. We keep things pretty structured and routine as we found this works best for us all. He is unfortunately, stronger than I am at times, especially in one of these fits, and I fear that if I try to force, say, getting into a carseat, that I'll hurt him or he'll hurt me. I do my best, but become physically exhausted after this goes on. I refuse to leave him in the car to cry it out, as I feel this is dangerous. I will leave the room in the house and take my own time out as I feel necessary.
I don't know...have you seen this in your kids and how do you deal with it when you have places to go and things to do? Its like a switch got flipped and I don't know how to turn it off...OR, is it just my kiddo?
I feel like a very ineffective mom, adn it makes me very sad to fight with my boy constantly every day. I do try to choose my battles, give choices and control where appropriate, but even then this behavior occurs. Please Tell me there's light at the end of the tunnel.
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Not gonna be much help here. Sounds like you are doing all you can. One other thing I do is ignore DS until he asks nice. For instance, if he is having a fit because he wants to play with a certain toy I tell him that he has to ask nice, no whining, no crying. It helps. At least he knows how he is supposed to ask. When I get frustrated, I remind myself that he is doing the best he can. I know its exhausting sometimes. And I hate feeling like I am the mean mom (and dad is the nice dad). All you can do it try your best and pick your battles. Hang in there. This too shall pass.
My DD will be 3 next month and I can empathize with you. Some days with her seem like one long struggle as well. She'll push limit after limit and I find myself torn between being "consistent" and easing up so that I can find some balance between discipline and fun stuff.
I think lots of kids this age just have a really tough time transitioning from one thing to the next. For my DD I try to keep her informed about what's coming next (in the next 5 minutes, in the next segment of the day, and in the coming day). I'll give her a 5 minute warning before we end an activity or even give her a choice about leaving "now or in 5 minutes". If she starts to balk at the change, I'll try to redirect her by talking about some of the fun things to come. If at all possible, I'll give her a choice about something coming up. As in "art time is almost over and then we'll have snack - do you want prezels or animal crackers for snack?" I've even started giving her a head's up about the little things. Like when we have to leave the house, I'll let her know ahead of time, but I'll also tell her that soon I'm going to want her to go potty and put her shoes on. I also find that sometimes it is appropriate to "give in" and allow my DD more control over something. She absolutely has to ask in a nice manner but I do find that's it's worth it to be flexible when I can.
I don't know if any of that helps. I suspect you're probably doing all that already. I agree with GsMom, this too shall pass. I also know how exhausting this is!
My FD is 22 months old and her tantrums are horrible, to the point that the daycare said she cant be there anymore and the nanny is ready to quit. I have tried everything that the pediatrician suggested which was putting her in her room until the screaming stopped, time out, ignoring, etc. nothing helps. She will scream til she is shaking and her face turns purple. She cant talk yet and that makes things more frustrating, any advice as my kids had tantrums but nothing like this. She also hurts herself and other people during her fits of rage.