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Hi I'm new to this forum. I came here because I needed someone to talk to and do not know who I can trust. My situation is that my 15 year old girlfriend is pregnant. I'm 16. She is about 12 weeks pregnant and really confused. We considered our options, but so far we haven't done anything or really talked about it. I'm not sure what to do.
So far I've been wanting to tell our parents about it, but she doesn't want anyone to know. I know that if our parents find out, they will probably separate us. Neither of us want that. Although I actually prefer not telling my parents something inside me keeps telling me I should because I really want to help my girlfriend. Right now she is way too confused and has no idea what she wants to do.
Keeping the child would be difficult at this young of an age and pressure from peers and parents may make it even more difficult. I don't know how my girlfriend feels about it, but all I know is that she said to me she doesn't want to have it. I haven't considered adoption too much because if she doesn't want to have it, adoption is not a choice.
Abortion was our other thought. We researched about it and found out we could do it without telling our parents. She doesn't want to go through with the surgery and I don't want her to either. Also, cost and finding time to do this is another problem with abortion if we want to do it unnoticed. I really don't know what I want, and I don't think she does either. Sometimes I bring up the subject, but I stop when she says "I don't wanna talk about it right now".
Today she was pissed off because she was thinking about it. Recently we have been arguing a lot over small things. Well anyways, she started to cry while I was at her house and told me she hated me for getting her pregnant...I really wish I could take that day back. I've only blamed myself for this, and want to take responsibility for everything because I really love her. It seems like I can't do anything to help her right now and that makes me feel even worse than I already feel. She even told me to leave her house and go home, but I just couldn't.
We both thought we could get through this alone, but it looks like we can't. That's why I've come here. If anyone has any advice on what I can do to help my girlfriend please tell me.
If not due to time restraints I would love to see a helpful response, but as a highschool student I must sleep because I have school in 5 hours. Wow 4 hours of sleep. Didn't study for test. I guess people really do mature and learn what's most important when they come upon a life changing event.
Lostworld,
You sound as if you love your girlfriend and are really trying to do the right thing. You should be proud of yourself. There are many fathers that run away from the situation.
It also sounds like you are overwhelmed. I think you are right when you say that you need to tell your parents. You might be surprised at the support and love you receive. Certainly they will not be overjoyed, but this is their grandchild.
Your girlfriend appears to be in a lot of denial. She doesn't want to talk about it or do anything about it, but pregnancy does not go away.
Feel free to pm me. I would love to help you get resources to help you, your girlfriend and your families through this.
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Dear LostWorld,
Please listen to your instincts that are telling you to let your parents know about your girlfriend's pregnancy. They may be angry at first, but they'll cool off after a bit. You need their emotional support right now, and I bet you that they'll help you see things more clearly.
I admire you for sticking by your girlfriend during this confusing time. As Brenda said in her reply to you, a lot of guys would run off, leaving their girlfriends to figure out what to do on their own. You're doing the right thing by hanging in there.
Hope you got enough sleep for your big test today. I know how hard it is to handle school along with a pregnancy. Hang in there... :)