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Setting the situation for you: DH and I have been married nearly 8 years, no bio kids, but my 20 year old sister lives with us while attending college. We have been going through the licensing process to adopt from foster care, under the presumption we would be licensed for 2 kids. We originally said at our first meeting that we wanted up to 3 kids, and mentioned it again at a later meeting while chatting about how they're having trouble finding homes able to take 3 kids. But our worker told us the first day that the room would fit 2 kids. So we kind of prepared our hearts and minds for 2, instead of 3.
At the last visit, we finally had the room cleaned out of odds/ends and junk that had been shoved in there, and had set up the bunkbed, etc. so she was able to get a better feel for the size of the room. Our worker started asking questions about how big was the room actually (she wanted to go get her tape measure), and could we make it work for 3 kids temporarily until my sister eventually moves out and another bedroom is freed up - which is completely up in the air right now. Could be a couple months, or 2 years. In our state, kids are required to have 40sqft each. Our room measures out at 118 sqft., so 2 sqft short of the requirement.
Sorry for such a long backstory, but here are my questions:
1. Do you think they will license us for 3 despite being short the 2 sqft, being as I keep reading about people being contacted for more than their license, ages outside their range, etc. and I know they're really recruiting for families for 3 sib sets?
2. What types of things do we need to think about/plan for if they do license us for 3? We've got the furniture and child care lined up for 2 but can easily change things like that. I just don't know if there's something I'm not thinking of - my head is just spinning right now.
I'm also having trouble finding threads about what to expect as far as what our lives will become like once we are placed with kids. The search function brings up tons of threads, but I haven't been able to sort through them to find one that directly addresses that question. So if you can refer me to a forum/thread here so I can read about going from 0 kids to multiple kids, that would be great as well!
Thanks!!!
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Just, I know where you're coming from. DH and I don't have any children but we're considering two or three kids as well. Right now we have a bunk bed and two dressers so if we do get three it'll be a scrabble to find another dresser and bed. I think you might get licensed for three. There are so many kids out there that need homes, I don't see why they wouldn't be ok with you having three.
Keep us posted. : )
Also, I just wanted to point out that information regarding adopting siblings is few and far between. I've been searching and searching and there just isn't a lot of information out there. I'm considering writing a book about my experiences with our sibling group when we adopt because it just seems like there's such a need for it!
As far as stuff to consider. I would include vehicle. DH and I bought our truck four years ago in anticipation of up to four children. (From 0 ourselves) I really think it's up to you how many you think you can handle. We've nearly gone to selection staffings for several sets of 4 but backed out before then due to at least two having more severe issues. . . Where we could have handled just the two with issues and two additional kids, and I just don't think we could do it. Are you near the size limit for your agency or for those that regulate it?
We adopted a sibling pair, so we went from zero to 2-under-2 in a moment. It was harder than we thought it would be, but now that we're through the hardest (I hope!), we're so happy that we've been able to keep them together. We were only preparing for 1 child (as we were told that was the VERY strong likelihood), so we had to switch to having room for 2 in a matter of a day or two.
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Great thought about the vehicle! We've got a 7 passenger van so we're set there. We originally bought it so we had a vehicle big enough to cart our Great Dane around. :)
The decision on how many kids we can handle is so difficult because we don't have any right now. My brother in law has 5 kids, ages 6-10, and we can handle them, but we don't live with them all day. They're not our kids. So the situation is so different as to the point it's hard to compare them. We feel that 3 is probably our limit, but it truly depends on ages of kids, too. The younger they are, the more difficult it would be for us financially due to daycare, etc. so that will be a consideration as well.
I have experience with it. We went from zero to 4 in less than 3 months.We got a call for legal risk foster to adopt a sibling group of 3 -ages 5, 3.5 and 11 days. We accepted them, got the paperwork done and had them in our home within 3 days. I quit my job and became a sahm mom that day also! 2 weeks later we were also selected for a legally free girl that was 5. She came home for good less than 3 months later. It was an adjustment but one that you just do! People ask me ALL the time.."how did you do it", "was it stressful the first year" etc, etc. Yes but we got thru each day... It has been almost 2 years since their adoptions - April & July. There are still challenges and I think there will always be. Our kids are very close in age today they are 8,7,6 and 2. The older 3 compete for everything, attention, stuff, getting to the car, table, outside, room first. But...I love them all and would not trade if for anything. I have even been considering adopting 1 or 2 more! If you have specific questions, I'd be more than happy to answer them the best I can...just ask!!! And good luck to you! We had a long wait before we got the first call but once you do...your life changes forever and you'll love every minute!
Congratulations! I hope it works out. It is alot of fun!!!!
GoddessDanu
In the last few days we've narrowed down our search to a sibling group of four kids. We have zero right now but since I run a daycare and am used to having all kinds of kids around we figured we'd give it a shot. I'm excited! :banana:
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The way I looked at it when we went from 0-4 was any parent going from no kids to kids is a complete total overnight change for the rest of your life. Granted, you will have more with more kids, but the mindset of overnight change is instant no matter how many kids you have. So, a few more adjustments, stuff, time etc. but the hardest part is from 0 to kids period.
Keep us posted!:)