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how hard is it for you to give away your baby? stories you would like to share ?
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Making the decision was not terribly hard. I had planned for adoption very early in my pregnancy and was set on it and honestly thought it would not be nearly as difficult as it was until after I had my child and had to walk out of the hospital without him. No one could prepare me for how hard it would be. I had time before I signed TPR, and revisited my decision and still felt placing him was best, but the first year felt similar to the grief one goes through when they lose a loved one to death. My only consolation was he was alive. I received a lot of counseling that first year and also had to just work through my grief. For me, things got easier as the years went on, but then harder again as he became an adult. I wish right now to have contact with him and am hoping this will be a reality in the near future. I've found this has its own roller-coaster ride of emotions that I was not in the least prepared for! So, in a nutshell, it's not an easy thing to do to relinquish a child.
Good Evening--I have been on both sides of the adoption process. My daughter was adopted at birth and it was the happiest day of my life--bar none! She has brought me more joy than I ever dreamed of. However, at 19 she informed me that she was 6 months pregnant--hard to believe but true. I had no idea--she is very tall and even the doctor was quite surprised to find out how far along she was when he did the ultrasound. My daughter made the decision to place her baby for adoption. She said that she was too young, no longer involved with the father, and wanted her son to have both a mom and dad that could take car of him with the life that she had had. I supported her decision and now understand the other side of the adoption process. She says that this was God's plan for her--to have a baby for a couple that could not have a biological child. What I can tell you, not as the bio. mom but as the bio. grandmother, this is the hardest decision that a family can ever make. Four years later, with much counseling, I still cry and mourn the loss of this little guy every day of my life. No amount of time has made the pain any better. I really think that my daughter does much better than I do--maybe because she is younger. The adoption process brings such joy to one side and such sorrow to the other. I do believe that both my daughter and her son are better with her decision, but the grief is never ending. My prayer is that they will be reunited before I die and I will have the chance to see him again.l
How hard was it to “give away” my baby? It is something that can’t be easily explained. Shortly after I gave birth, said “hello and goodbye” to my son, attended court to relinquish my rights and returned home, I attended the homecoming of the youngest daughter of my parent’s dear family friends. This girl was 12 years old and within a few days of me giving birth to my son, she was in Children’s Hospital having her leg amputated above the knee to save her from an ever spreading bone cancer. During her homecoming she started screaming from the phantom pain in her missing leg and she could not be comforted. Her screams were so piercing that her mother had to leave the room and her father was helpless. Her screams echoed the screams that had been raging through my mind for days. Those screams haunted me for a very long time. My arms ached to hold my son; every part of my being ached for him for years. How hard was “giving away” my baby? Parting with a child is unimaginable. It can’t be explained.
I guess I have never felt as if I "gave" my child away. I made a decision for him based on what I thought was best for him, it was the hardest decision I have made in my 38 years of life. I have made many parental decisions in the last 18 years, not only for him, but for the other 4 I went on to parent. The decisions I made for him were taken as seriously as the decisions I make on a daily basis for the ones I parent everyday. Placing him in the arms of the ones he now calls mom and dad was out of pure love for him but it has left everlasting scars on my heart.
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