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I'm currently waiting for my birth mom to respond to my CI's contact. She has yet to respond and as I wait... I am just curious what she may possibly be thinking? or going through that would make her hesistate or not wish to return my CI's contact.
At the time she gave me up for adoption she state her reason for giving me was so "I could have a better life". As she was having a hard time already proving for her 3 children. At the time of adoption she also stated she wished to receive updates on me and pictures. So I still remain hopeful that she might eventually wish for contact.
I guess I'm just curious if anyone might be able to share some insights into why you as a birth mother that is contacted and if anythin appears hesistant to make contact? Anything you can share may help just curious.
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She may be scared, I mean just imagine you have a child that you relinquish and some years later he/she shows up.... what do you say to someone you dont know. I can guarantee she loves you very much or she wouldnt have made the decision that she made. Hopefully she comes around. Good luck and keep us posted.
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I know this is a little late, but I'm kinda in the same boat. Patience is the key word. I'm sure that she is working thru a TON of emotions. I found out in January that my Bmom was searching for me, and I agreed to have contact. I am still waiting for a letter from her. This is even after sending her a letter first. Just be patient and let what happens happen. I've come to the basic conclusion that there is NO way that we can get into their heads and figure out what they are thinking and what they are going thru. We are on the brink of reconnecting two lives that have carried on seperatly for years upon years. Keep your chin up and don't get discouraged. Be patient and the answers will come.
She might be really scared that you'll hate her, that she can't live up to any of your adoptive parents' accomplishments. I know I had a "fantasy" life imagined for my son, and was so afraid he would look down on the way our lives were. (So wrong, but who knew?)
She might have family who don't know about all this, or who are going through difficulties. (health, other emergencies--look at the news today, look at the economy...)
Give her time, she probably is afraid of saying the wrong thing.