To birthmoms from a man - why is it painful to give up your baby for adoption?

Dear "Seeking" I flipped an internal coin before answering this post because I wasn't sure well...quite frankly.....I wasn't sure how to take it at first. However, you seem sincere in that you are genuinely trying to understand. Anyway......to answer: It is painful to relinquish a child because doing so means great loss. IMO - Relinquishment is a loss of self in many ways. Our children are an extension of us; not in that we own them but that our hopes and dreams are manifested through their existence - at least that is how I see this. Simply put the relinquishment of a child is the death of dreams and dreams, as I'm fond of saying, die very hard. As to the first item on your list, Seeking. Some have compared relinquishment to a child's dying. I respect the grief behind such statements, though I can't say I agree. I think I may have posted this previously and if I have I apologize. But I would rather be me - a double surrenderer - than John and Revee Walsh. I wish they didn't have to be John and Revee Walsh either - if that makes sense. I cannot imagine a greater nightmare than the murder of a child. I personally don't know how anyone comes back from something like that. Or the death of a child from illness; another nightmare. I hope that answers some of your questions for you. Regards,