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Hi All, Jumping over from the Korean board to ask a question. I have a friend who is adopting three children from Poland. She is dealing with transition issues, behavior problems, and attachment concerns. I was wondering if any of you would have some suggestions of books that were especially helpful when you brought your children home. I would like to buy some for her as a resource. Thank-you in advance for any assistance you could provide.
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I was interested in the answer to this question as well. I am in the process of adopting and have not been able to test the resources that I'm listing here. However, I did a bit of research and tried to get a few books that had very good reviews, focused on international adoption, and were not spouting "fringe" concepts. Here are three that I came up with: Parenting the Hurt Child - Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow by Gregory Keck and Regina Kupecky. The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis, David Cross, Wendy Sunshine. Adoption Parenting-Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections (this one is interesting in that is was written by over 100 contributors that have different views on some of the topics) editors Jean MacLeod and Sheena Macrae.
Another mother recommended an online course that I have started taking (to get ready) called SmartStart curriculum. [url]http://bgcenter.coursehost.com/Groups/Config/Home18.asp?LID=1&ky=d_BPDiQVRgHzDiPRUmf_DgHzDrXOFqLz[/url] After reviewing the course I decided it would be helpful for myself. My mother is a teacher and I mentioned it to her and she went to check it out. She said that the people that created this are well known and she had actually sent me one of their books when we had our first child - games to play with your infant. I think their theories are very interesting and I could see some things that our "future daughter" was doing that showed me she had missed some building blocks and was searching for a way to fill them in.
Finally, my favorite plain 'ole parenting book is, "Have a new Kid by Friday." My only concern with recommending only this book is that it focuses on the natural consequences of doing something wrong AND every other book I've started to read about the "Hurt child" says that the kiddos seem to have a hard time understanding consequences so this strategy may not work. Based on this understanding I'm reading the other books and taking that online course so that we better understand how our parenting styles may need to adjust when we are able to finalize the adoption of our daughter.
Tell you friend good-luck.
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