Communication....from Foster Parent

May 6, 2009

I am unsure how to proceed. My fs's family has asked (through appropriate channels) for me to provide guidance on how I deal with the Little Guy. The problem is....rather, are that I'm not the most diplomatic person in the world and that what I do isn't a guaranteed fix and is just common sense stuff.....and while I appreciate and respect the courage it took to ask, I'm uncomfortable.

Any suggestions on how to approach this? I've thought about just doing a behavior plan so that not only the family but all the support staff are all on the same page.....but that's kind of cold.

thanksgivingmom

May 6, 2009

Hi Ladyjubile - I don't really have an answer for you, but I want to bump this up in case someone else has some insight :)

I suppose if it were me, I'd be curious too - what might seem like common sense to you might not be *common* for everyone else, you know? If what you're doing is "working" she might be curious?

May I ask what about it makes you uncomfortable?

And if nothing else, perhaps a behaviour plan would be somewhat helpful.

(I guess I had more to say than I thought!)

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ladyjubilee

May 8, 2009

thanksgivingmom

May I ask what about it makes you uncomfortable?

And if nothing else, perhaps a behaviour plan would be somewhat helpful.

(I guess I had more to say than I thought!)

I guess my biggest concern is that I don't want to sound preachy or as if I have all the answers. But the things I do really are common sense. Its just little things like: No biting, no pinching, no hitting. Use a spoon or a fork at the table. Sit down at the table, not climb on the table. But how do you say that without it being pretty obvious those weren't the kind of rules at home?

Plus, frankly, I'm peeved that these things weren't done and that choas very obviously reigned in Little Guy's life. I don't want to be judgemental, but really I am.

kakuehl

May 9, 2009

Perhaps you could tell them that In your experience, children thrive when have consistent schedules, rules jand discipline such as (Then list your common sense list) Many people these days believe that children should have no rules...

I know they seem like common sense to you, they may not to the fparents.

MommaKatja

May 9, 2009

Sounds like communication is through a third party such as a Social Worker/Case Manager that person should be able to help you phrase things in a non-offensive way. If the family is asking for the advice I think they probably know they aren't doing something and would be genuinely open to the feedback, but if there is something specifically you're worried about perhaps the SW/CM could pass it on without necessarily attributing it to you.

ladyjubilee

May 21, 2009

Thanks MommaKatja,

They have asked through the SW for the information from me because Little Guy has done a 180 degree change. Like I said, I'm not doing anything special. I do think the list idea is a great one.