Homestudy approved today - now the wait - suggestions for this time?

I have to say that we're in the same boat as you are. We have completed all of our requirements and are in the matching phase. We have kept it simple, we have the bunk beds, the dressers and a few children's toilette-tries. Seeing as we are open to adopt 1-3 children between the ages of 5-10. So we don't want to over do it for the bedroom, until the child(ren) arrive. We do have money set aside to go shopping for their needs and wants when they arrive. I think your doing the right thing be reading books. I have several books that I have read while we have been waiting. I have also been told to take time for yourself and your husband, nurture and strengthen your relationship because when the children arrive you will be focusing on them. We have been exercising and doing things around the house, just to stay busy. We have been trying to give our SW the time she needs to do her thing, we don't want to be pains in the butt, we just want to let her know that we are still here and waiting. We send her an email about every 10 days, just to get an update if there is any. Waiting is so very hard, so try to focus on reading, a hobby or something for yourself. Best wishes

Thanks, Effy - how long has it been since you were approved?

When we were in this phase of our adoption processes it was very difficult to wait. I'm not a good wait-er. :DWe did things that I knew would be difficult after the child arrived. All day excursions away from home. Remodeling projects, or big craft things. One time I had surgery on my hands since I knew that was going to be difficult to do after the next child arrived. We did a vacation another time to visit out-of-state relatives. Different things. Uninterrupted bubble baths (privacy in the bathroom with no one banging on the door, calling through the crack at the bottom, etc.), chocolate candy all to myself, watching a tv program all the way through, uninterrupted! Doing my nails. But the bottom line was that I needed to be patient in my heart, and trust that God was accomplishing His will in the way that our family was being formed. No children, one child, and then eventually five children. We had a long process of learning about the special needs our children had as well. So all in all the timing was perfect because it was God's doing. Resting in Him was (and is, oddly enough!!) very difficult to do on a daily basis, as day after day went by with no phone call from the cw. During all the different waiting times for the various parts of the adoption process I can see how God sustained us and I wish that I'd been more content and trusting with each step. First there was the wait just to get the homestudy completed. Once we had the homestudy then we had to wait for some cw, somewhere (anywhere!) to think our homestudy matched up with what they were looking for in an adoptive family for some child on their case load. THEN it was the wait for the committee to meet. (In our state children waiting in foster care are matched through a committee process.) THEN it was the mandatory wait period between being matched and getting to meet and transition the child. THEN it was the wait for the adoption to be final. It's good to be reminded about this and remember all of these feelings as this can help me to be content and trusting with various things in life now! :)We didn't really buy much of anything before we were matched, since we didn't know what age or gender we'd be matched with. We also didn't know what kinds of needs that child might have, so...we waited for all major purchases until we were matched. THAT was the hardest part of all! I did paint the bedroom and we did have a set of bunk beds...and then it turned out that we were matched with a small toddler who was still in a crib. :DI did get a book, "Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft" by Mary Hopkins-Best. That was a helpful book, even if the child you adopt is older than a toddler. Great info on transitioning, grief, etc.

You mean besides constantly wanting to call my SW and tell her I was ready for a baby. I had to let go, let God. I constantly reminded myself that He loved me more than I loved myself, more than I loved the future son or daughter He would bring into my life, and that everything would happen in HIs perfect time. This actually did bring me peace. I had read all the adoption books I could. I had read all the children's book regarding adoptions that I could put my hands on. So other than throwing myself, with the help of a friend, a baby shower I did nothing. As for waiting time....that depends on the number of children in the foster care system in your county, what you're open to in regards to race, sex, sibling sets, and age. I was open to boy or girl of any race under the age of one, who had minimum drug exposure. My son came home at five-days-old one day shy of me being licensed for 2 months. Funny, I got the call for him as I was carrying all the baby stuff out to the garage. Yep, I happily had to haul all of his baby stuff back inside the house. And 19 months and 2 days later, our "easy" adoption was finalized. I know it isn't to let go, let God, but it's the only way I"ve learned to deal with this rollercoaster called fost/adopt. If you think this waiting is hard, it's nothing like the waiting and wanting to finalize once your little one or little ones are in your home, in your heart. For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11 became my mantra. Fost/adopt is such a strange world. You don't wish or pray for anyone to do bad, yet you do know that if the parents can't get their act together this precious child/ren will become yours forever. Whenever I was blessed with a child, the first prayer I prayed was that God's will be done in their life and quoted Jeremiah 29:11. God had plans for me and for the babies I was entrusted with and they were plans for us all to prosper. He was always true to His word.

Hi adoptmom2be, Sorry I haven't gotten back to you, I have had to try to pull back and relax a little. We have been licensed since April 1, 2009. Not very long at all, but everyday still feels like an eternity. I have gone so far as to call the house phone from work just to make sure the phone is working. :phone: Silly I know, but I wanted to make sure. In any case I gave her a long list of children at are available on our states waiting list and she did the research for us. All to find out that they all severe levels of care or where already matched. :hissy: Yet again I find myself leaving it all in God's hands and trusting in him. We waited 4 weeks before she called to find out if we would like her to submit our home study for a 9yo boy. Oh course I talked to my husband and we said YES, but it's been 2 weeks and no answer. We just had her submit it for a 7 yo girl that the CW was going to try to match by the end of this week. We didn't have any messages on the phone, so once again, I'll pray about it and leave it in God's hands. I sent our CW 3 more names to look at, as they are new to the waiting list. I know that she is doing everything she's suppose to, but as you well know it is very hard to wait. Just a few days ago I was talking to my husband about the matching phase. I guess I knew it, then again it really didn't occur to me, that the people that are matching the children to the potential parents are basing their decisions based on your home study and a picture. So basically it is all black and white, ink on a paper and colors in a photos. I just wish they could do some type of interview even if it was over the phone. So that they could put some personality behind the home study and picture. That's a job I wouldn't want to have. This is why I said earlier, I had to pull back and relax. It is so easy to get on the internet and read about all the wonderful experiences that everyone else is having, but they have also had their waiting periods, so I'm trying to relax about it. I want to trust in God, for the family he has for us and like Yash and Barksum have said, it will happen in HIS perfect time. Patients is a virtue, what I personally need to do is strengthen myself in Jesus and leave this in His hands (that is much easier said than done, but I also know that when I try to do it my own way I mess things up:wings: ) PM me when ever you want to vent or have questions. I have a couple of friends that have gone through this before and it's been really great talking and asking them questions. I'll say a prayer for you and your soon to come family.

You have some great advice, Effy. I had to giggle because I actually have called my phone to make sure it is working! And I have only been waiting a week! What makes it worse is our CW quit last Friday and they haven't replaced her - so I really feel even more out of the loop. But I have been praying that God knows exactly where our kids are and the right timing for them. Its just so hard to wait! :phone: