Just found out that I have a half-sister out there somewhere........

Hi Shocked, I cannot even begin to imagine the thoughts going through your head as I am the flip side, a daughter adopted out... Please read "The Girls Who Went Away" by Ann Fessler. Your mom lived through a time when single pregnant females were not treated well at all, you will be shocked. And after the birth were told to "never talk about it", "get married and forget all about it". They were not provided with any support services to deal with the grief of not being allowed to raise their child, most familiies never mentioned it again so the mother had to bottle all the pain, grief and anger deep inside, hold their head up and hope no one discovered their secret. Some never even told their husbands. On the flip side, those of us adopted were also aware that we were secrets, what would happen if we searched? Did our mother tell her husband and chldren? How much pain would we cause if we found our birth family? All those thoughts ran through our heads, could we search and risk it? Many chose not to, myself included because we did not want to cause pain. I did choose to passively search but that came to nothing. But I always wanted to know my birth family. Also, sealed records made it very difficult to search unless someone knew someone the chances were slim to none. I did not search until I had severe medical issues and the court opened my records. My mother had already passed away by then and I was met with hositility by my half-siblings...and years later that has not changed. Please, please go into this with an open mind. Remember that you meet people each day and some become friends, give that same chance to your sister. Your sister has done what is probably the hardest thing an adoptee can do, reach out knowing there is a good chance of being rejected. Rejection is one of the biggest and most common fears adoptees have and most have felt the fear of rejection thoughout all facets of their life. As Dpen said, chances are she simply wants the chance to know you, have questions answered, see if there is a connection. We have so many questions from the simplest, who do I look like, does my face fit as we have no reference to compare to, where does my personality come from...to what nationality am I and what were my ancestors like, what struggles did they face. So many life questions that most people have always known are completely unknown to us. Do set your own boundries so that you have your comfort level. Do understand that your mom will have so many painful memories bombarding her, and she may go into a honeymoon period where it is all about your sister or she may shut down for a time due to emotional overload. Just being their for your mom without judgement or jealousy is probably the best way to help your mom with her emotions. Reunions are roller coasters and feelings of turmoil and feeling like a teenager are all normal. Take care and post often, hopefully we can give you the info you need to make this a great reunion that creates ties to last a life time. A sister/friend can be wonderful if you give it a chance. Kind regards,Dickons