Home Study Sounds Scary

Relax, your home study is really a piece of cake. Your social worker will visit your home and will probably ask to see where your child will sleep. They will interview you and usually ask about your background, relationships with family, your relationship with your husband and why you chose adoption. Each SW will have different methods of conducting their home studies. Some may ask to see shot records for your pets, some won't. You'll have a medical form that needs to be completed by your doctor. You will have local and federal police background checks. You will usually need to have a few reference letters from friends. The Home study process can be stressful when you don't know what to expect, but it really was no big deal, you'll do fine. Just answer your questions open and honestly and follow the instructions the SW gives you. Good Luck and congrats on your decision!

Just hearing from someone that went thru these steps before me is great and lets me breath a sigh of relief! Thank you and your munchkin is adorable.

Here's something that I wrote a while back, for another forum: "Homestudy" is something of a misnomer. Very little of it involves studying your home. The homestudy has two basic purposes: 1. To determine whether you can provide a safe and nurturing family environment for a child. Note that you do NOT have to be rich or to have a fancy home to provide a safe and nurturing family environment! If you have a steady job, are not overwhelmed with debt, rent or own even a small apartment, are in reasonable health, and have not committed any crimes, especially those involving violence or children, you can often be approved. 2. To prepare you for the challenges of parenting an adopted child. There ARE some challenges, so this is really the most important part of the homestudy. Each state differs in its requirements for a homestudy. Homestudies for international adoption also differ from those for domestic adoption or foster care, because the USCIS and your country of choice will have some requirements, with regard to what is included. And, finally, each homestudy agency may have some unique requirements. Still, here is how a homestudy generally works: 1. Intake. You will fill out a questionnaire and have an in-person or telephone interview with the homestudy agency or provider. The purpose of the intake is to determine whether it is reasonable to commence a homestudy, or whether it would be a waste of the social worker's time and your money, because you could not possibly be approved. As an example, you will be counseled not to even consider a homestudy if you or your spouse have ever had a conviction for child abuse, if you have a serious psychiatric illness, if you are on public assistance, and so on. You may also be counseled to wait for some period of time before having a homestudy -- for example, if you contemplate moving to another state soon, if you have just started your very first job, if you just got married or divorced, etc. 2. Document review. The social worker assigned to your case will need to verify your identity and your claims on intake by looking at documents, such as: your birth certificate, your marriage certificate, any divorce decrees, a letter from your employer verifying employment and salary, the results of a physical examination by your physician, a clearance from the local police, a canceled check showing a recent mortgage or lease payment, bank and investment company statements showing assets, and so on. The social worker will also ask that you sign a statement allowing him/her to obtain a child abuse clearance for you, from your state government. 3. References. While practices vary, you will generally be expected to provide the names of three people, not related to you, who can comment knowledgably on your character and suitability to parent a child. These people -- who can be friends, neighbors, work colleagues, clergy, people with whom you do volunteer work, etc. -- will receive a form that they must fill out and return to the agency. Some agencies also require a face-to-face interview with one non-relative. 4. Autobiography. Many, though not all, homestudy workers have each spouse, or the single adoptive parent, write an autobiography, which will serve to guide the subsequent mandatory counseling sessions. There is usually an outline for the prospective parents to follow, covering things like how their parents educated them, how their parents disciplined them, how strong their parents' marriage was and how they handled disagreements, and so on. 5. Pre-adoption classes. Some, but not all, agencies require that a person attend classes or complete an in-person or on-line course of study that will cover such topics as parenting transracially, dealing with the negative attitudes of relatives or friends, attitudes towards birthparents, recognizing the medical risks of adoption, and so on. Adoption preparation has become a particularly important issue since the U.S. ratified the Hague Convention on intercountry adoption, so even if your agency didn't require classes when someone you know was adopting, it may now do so. 6. Counseling sessions. Most homestudies call for approximately three counseling sessions in the social worker's office. A common pattern for married couples is that the social worker meets once with the husband alone, once with the wife alone, and then once with both together. The purpose is to help prepare the person or couple for parenting an adopted child, although the sessions also help to determine that the spouses are "on the same page" about the adoption and about raising an adopted child. The social worker may ask questions based on the autobiography and other information, and the prospective parent may also have questions for the social worker. Expect questions about how your relatives will relate to an internationally adopted child, how you plan to teach the child to appreciate her cultural heritage, what you know about the medical risks in adoption, what experience you have had in dealing with racism and other prejudices, how you plan to discipline your child, and so on. 7. Home visit. The home visit, though usually the most feared part of the homestudy, is actually about the easiest part. Basically, the social worker comes to a prospective parent's home to see if it is safe and welcoming. The home does not need to be big or fancy or or even owned. In fact, it can be a very modest rental apartment. It can be furnished with "hand-me-downs" that don't match perfectly. And the social worker doesn't look to see if dust bunnies are under the beds or the closets are a bit untidy. Very few people "fail" a homestudy because of the home visit, unless it reveals evidence of a dangerous lifestyle (for example, unsecured loaded firearms, tanks of venomous snakes, drug paraphernalia). At the very worst, if there is something about your home that doesn't meet your state requirements, such as an unfenced pool or a staircase without a handrail, the social worker might tell you to get it fixed and then call him/her to come back and officially "see" it, before approval can be given. Pets are fine, but the social worker will probably want to see evidence that they are properly licensed, if required, and properly immunized, if required. He/she may also want to observe that they are not vicious and that your home isn't full of their waste products. In addition, he/she will probably ask what you will do if your animals can't adjust to the new baby, or if the new baby turns out to have allergies to animal dander. Since an occasional social worker may have allergies or fears related to animals, it is always a good idea to ask your social worker, in advance, if you should confine your pet to the backyard during the visit; the answer will most likely be no, but it is considerate to check. The homestudy is not a "pop quiz" and you are always welcome to ask the social worker, in advance, whether there are any things the state requires, such as a fire extinguisher in the kitchen or locks on the medicine cabinets. (Most states do NOT require that the child's room be set up in advance or that all childproofing be done, but ask just in case.) And most states have very liberal rules concerning square footage of bedrooms, children sharing bedrooms with siblings of the same gender, etc. Basically, if you would be comfortable having your mother-in-law or your employer over for dinner, and if your house meets all local codes, your home is probably just fine. The social worker may get a little worried if your house looks too perfect, with beautiful white carpeting and sofas in the living room, lots of valuable antiques, and so on. He/she may wonder if you REALLY know what children are like, and if you are prepared to make some major adjustments when you adopt. So if your dog gnawed on the coffee table, or you can't completely remove a red wine stain from the dining room rug, don't obsess about it. Most social workers also have a sense of humor, and fully understand that things can go wrong. Many, many parents have had minor disasters, either while the social worker is in the house, or just as his/her car pulls into the driveway. You know the sorts of things. The dog vomits on the floor at the social worker's feet. The toddler already in residence decides to show how competent he is by taking off every stitch of his clothes and running around the room naked. The toilet in the powder room overflows. Or the cookies that were being baked to create a nice homelike atmosphere burn to a crisp, totally stinking up the house. If you do have a minor disaster, don't worry. Try to relax and maintain your own sense of humor. The social worker knows that life is never predictable when you have children, and likes to see prospective parents who are flexible and easygoing enough to cope with whatever their kids-to-be dish out. 8. Homestudy report preparation. The social worker will write up a report in the format required by your state. For an international adoption, it will also go to the USCIS, the placement agency, and the foreign country. Some agencies allow families to review the homestudy report and correct errors of fact before it is submitted, while others do not. Hope this helps. Sharon __________________

What if you have bad credit from long ago, and have just recently gotten a job, and are going to start paying it off? Also, what if you only rent an apartment, and don't have check copies for lease payments, due to renting an apartment.

There is no problem with being a renter. You will need a copy of your lease, however, and a copy of an endorsed rent check. If you do not receive your checks back from your bank, you can usually access them on line and print a copy of them, front and back. If you can't, go to the bank, and it should be able to make a copy of your latest one for you. If you have just recently begun working -- for example, if you are newly out of college or newly out of a marriage where you were able to stay at home -- you will probably not be able to start a homestudy immediately. Most agencies and countries want to see evidence of stable employment and income, meaning that you will need a few years of work, preferably for the same company, under your belt. Some agencies check credit reports and some do not. However, you WILL have to show that you are able to live within your income, without excessive debt, and with at least some money left over each month that could be used to support a child. You will have to provide documentation of your income, and will have to create at least a simple statement of your indebtedness that shows your credit card debt, loans, etc. Do remember that raising a child is expensive. The costs of adopting a child, no matter how high, are trivial compared to the costs of providing for the needs of a child, especially if that child turns out to have unforeseen medical, mental health, or educational needs. Agencies do not want you to have such tight finances that you cannot meet your child's needs, or struggle so much to keep your head above water that you are too stressed to be a good parent. And the USCIS has a policy of not approving I-600As/I-800As if it feels that you could wind up having to put your child on public assistance. Obviously, no one can be sure what the future will hold. Some parents may go through tough times at some point, no matter how well off they are financially, at present. But agencies, the U.S. government, and foreign countries want at least some indication that the likelihood of such occurrences is low. Sharon

The thing is, I pay by money order, not check. That could be a problem. Where I work now is not meant to be temporary, only to see what my job strengths are, etc. and to get me work somewhere like Target or somewhere. I am already 37 years. I don't have huge numbers of years to spare, for waiting. It's not that I'm not willing to. But being in my 40's seems a bit too old to me, to get started.

The fact that you have not demonstrated stability of employment and income is an issue, especially given your age. What have you been doing the past 15 years? How have you supported yourself? Does your husband-to-be have a stable income sufficient to meet USCIS, country, and agency requirements without counting any income from your work? If you have a lot of credit card debt, it would be a good idea if you could pay at aleast some of them off before you try to adopt. My recommendation would be to lock up all of your credit cards in a drawer and make no further purchases with them until you have paid off most of them. If necessary, consult a nonprofit credit counseling organization, which can help you develop a plan of action, and may even be able to work with credit card companies to create a payment plan that you can deal with on your income. (Don't go with one of the for-profit ones you see on TV, that charge fees.) Stop paying by money order, and establish a checking and savings account NOW. Look for a bank that has the lowest possible fees, and that does not require a high minimum balance. Try to deposit at least some money into the savings account each month. Use the remainder that is in your checking account to pay current bills and a portion of past due bills. And don't worry about your age. It is very common for people in their 40s to adopt, and some people even adopt when they are 50+. I was 51 when I brought home my 18 month old daughter. She's 14 and I'm 64 now, and we are having a great time. Sharon