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Hello lovely ladies! J turned 20 yesterday. Can you believe it? Little J turns 8 in just a few days to boot. A few things: 1. J followed up his birthday with landing the internship he hoped for this morning, in a US Congressman's office (our District Representative). Woohoo! So I can stop the rapid graying of the past month. :eek: He starts Monday. :banana: 2. This means the trip to PA for sis's grad party is on, as I had been holding a hard line about not handing out free money or paying for things for him if he wasn't living productively, as in working. I told him I wasn't buying tickets until he had a job and I knew what to work around for scheduling, since cheap tickets are also usually non-refundable. 3. All day yesterday, I struggled with the idea of somehow acknowleding M on J's birthday. The hard part is that even though we got the phone call with the invite a couple months ago, she and J have still had no contact of any kind for 18 months now, so I'm not sure whether it would just be rubbing salt in a wound for me to say I was thinking of her? I started en email about 3 times, but just couldn't figure out what to say and wondered if I was overstepping and couldn't finish it. With a child, it would be up to me to acknoweldge, but with a 20 yr-old, is that just up to him or her to share between them? Or should I have come up with something? And what would I say given the context of no contact between them? I started a few things, but I just couldn't guarantee that it wouldn't be read as gloating or poking. Please share your ideas because it's not too late, the birthday was just yesterday, and there are all the years to come as well.
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Wow, what a tough one Heidi!
I do appreciate the fact that you're thinking of M, that is really sweet!
My son is 24, neither his mom or stepmom have said anything to me around his birthday, and that's fine. I had sent them both mother's day cards, and they did acknowledge me then, and that was cool (of course if it was in reference to my son or to my girls which they both have met, I don't know!).
I guess I'm leaning towards it's between the two of them and although your thought is really sweet, maybe not really appropriate? I don't know if I'm expressing myself so well here! I guess I'm thinking since you're struggling so much with how to say things, maybe there's a reason for that.
Congrats on the birthday to J! Congrats on his internship! FANTASTIC! and you were totally right in holding off on the tickets and so on, cool!
Maybe that's something you could take up at sis's grad party (as in, to M, oh I was thinking about you when J turned 20!)...
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