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Hey everyone,
I have been reading some of the posts on here for about a week now and thought I would join.
I am a single woman - age 32. Divorced. My ex and I couldn't have children and he was unwilling to adopt. We tried everything but IVF.
I could try IVF, but for reasons I can't explain, I would prefer to adopt a newborn. I don't know why. It just has always felt right.
I am just beginning the research and have some personal wrinkles to iron out before I actually start the process, but i am not one to go into anything quickly so I wanted to get a lot of information and personal experiences before I move forward.
I would like to either do domestic adoption or adopt from the Ukraine or Russia or Poland. I am of polish descent and would like a child of a similar background. But one thing is very important to me.. It cannot be an open adoption. That is a personal choice.
Anyway. I look forward to talking with everyone here. and any advice for someone just starting out, would be much appreciated.
Like- private atty or adoption agency? Cost to do so? BTW - I am in Illinois. what I should know in advance, before starting the process. what I should be prepared for. I am sure I will have a lot of questions in the future.
Thank you in advance to everyone!
:love:
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Welcome to the group. I am new also and live in rural Oklahoma where trying to find an agency that will work with me internationally is limited. I haven't started my process yet because I am still trying to pick a country and to meet the requirements for others. I can tell you that there are only a few agencies that I have found who are accreditted to work in Poland and people of Polish decent are given a bit more consideration in some cases. Ukraine is one of those countries that I have found is up and down as to wether or not singles can adopt from there. I myself am single and am also looking at adopting from Eastern Europe.
Keep doing your research. I have talked with several agencies and while the fee schedule and even wait time can vary sometimes. Simply go with your gut. How quickly do they call you back, How do you feel when talking to them and so on. As someone told me remember that this is ultimately your child and your family and no one should force you to do something you don't feel comfortable doing and that includes a sem/open adoption domestically if you feel more comfortable with private. From what I have seen though if private/closed is what you really want you may feel more comfortable with the international route. Email me anytime girl and we can commiserate together over the steps. Everyone I have talked with on these forums have been completely awesome.
Thanks everyone for making me feel welcome.
Shilo
threefuries1995@yahoo.com
:banana:
You could also do embryo donation. Both Nightlight and Embryos Alive accept single moms.
I researched domestic adoption and I was discouraged by nearly every agency about pursuing a closed adoption. I was told that healthy babies in closed adoption are not that common and when those situations do come up, the birth mothers state a preference for married, heterosexual couples with one or no children. As a single lesbian, I would've been passed for those situations.
Therefore, I chose embryo donation/adoption and now I have a lovely daughter. Closed adoptions/donations are very common and you should have little too no problems finding a situation like that. Obviously, children are not exposed to alcohol and/or drugs because YOU carry the child.
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okay, i went onto Lifelink.org and it says that single women can adopt children over 10 years of age (which is not what I am looking for) but it says that divorced people can adopt. Is there an age limited to that? Since I am divorced, and now single?
Also, with regards to the embryo adoption, how does that all work? Medically speaking? Is it like doing a full IVF round?, or do they have a way to do only an implantation part?
sugarandspice697
You could also do embryo donation. Both Nightlight and Embryos Alive accept single moms.
I researched domestic adoption and I was discouraged by nearly every agency about pursuing a closed adoption. I was told that healthy babies in closed adoption are not that common and when those situations do come up, the birth mothers state a preference for married, heterosexual couples with one or no children. As a single lesbian, I would've been passed for those situations.
Therefore, I chose embryo donation/adoption and now I have a lovely daughter. Closed adoptions/donations are very common and you should have little too no problems finding a situation like that. Obviously, children are not exposed to alcohol and/or drugs because YOU carry the child.
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It depends on the route your choose. If you go through a clinic then it would cost about 2-10K for the whole process. However, if you go through an agency then it cost about 10-16K for everything including three transfers. You will not get the tax adoption credit but you can sometimes get your insurance to pick up some of the tab. Depending on the state you live in, your insurance agency may be required to pay some of your medical bills.
Its very similar to IVF except its MUCH cheaper and they DON'T stimulate you for your eggs. You will however have to take drugs to prepare yourself for the transfer and taking drugs gives you a much higher success rate. The process is very similar to egg donation except the donating parents will pick you and you will not pay them to place their embryos.