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Hi, I live in lovely Hermiston, Oregon, with my husband and 12 year old son. We started the process of adopting through DHS 4 years ago in July. I have tried really hard to be patient but ist seems thing never work out. We have been chosen to go to committe 5 or 6 times and have chosen not to go 3 times because we didn't feel like we would be able to give those children what they needed to grow and thrive. Our case worker has always told us that they frowned upon the fostering to adopt situation, but have recently become more open to the idea. We did decide (my husband case worker and I) that it would not be the right situation for us.
I apoligize for whinning I'm am trying to remain positive but I wonder if this is normal and has anyone else had delays this long.:thankyou:
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I hear ya. We are in the exact same situation. We just went to committee last week for a little guy who we had done respite care for a year on. We didn't get him. The family that did pulled out, then came back, then wavered on their decision. The whole thing makes us sick. Here everyone talks about the high need of the kids in the system, I don't know if I believe Oregon is doing all they can to place these kids. I am getting to the point where I honestly believe they are an additional abuser to the kids.
PM me if you ever need to chat. I'm in Portland and have been working with DHS for 2 years. At first, we were to only to adoption, now they keep asking us to foster. I'm so confused.
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Krispy
I hear ya. We are in the exact same situation. We just went to committee last week for a little guy who we had done respite care for a year on. We didn't get him. The family that did pulled out, then came back, then wavered on their decision. The whole thing makes us sick. Here everyone talks about the high need of the kids in the system, I don't know if I believe Oregon is doing all they can to place these kids. I am getting to the point where I honestly believe they are an additional abuser to the kids.
PM me if you ever need to chat. I'm in Portland and have been working with DHS for 2 years. At first, we were to only to adoption, now they keep asking us to foster. I'm so confused.
I don't understand the whole thing! First we were told that they didn't do foster to adopt, but that seems the only way that this works! Our caseworker now says they are more open to it but that she doesn't think it's right for us. Which I kind of agree with he, to get sooo attached and lose them. It seems that for some people it easy. I just keep thinking if I can get my foot in the door somehow it will work out. I get so tired of hearing about all the kids out there needed homes, well there are people out there who want them. But they seem to only want to place them with people who've adopted before.
I feel like having a stable home life and a 12 year old who is a good kid work against us. And we were told at both committees that our son was one of the reasons we weren't chosen. (they want siblings closer in age or it would be to hard on our son)
We got our first paper from the stay on July 25th 2005 so it's ben almost 4 years and nothing!
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