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Hi everyone,
We don't post much, but are on the boards a bit. The expectant mom that chose us is supposed to be induced sometime today. The agency called this morning to tell us they have not heard from her yet, but last week she requested that we no longer be at the hospital for the birth (why couldn't they have told us last week instead of when I'm expecting to be at the hospital all day?).
We've been told we will receive a phone call letting us know he's been born and then we'll set up a time to meet him. I'm a bit disappointed, as this wasn't what we'd discussed with the birthmom and hoping that this isn't indicative of her changing her mind... please pray for God's peace, wisdom and discernment for us. Our desire is for God's best!
Thanks!
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We had sweet boy for 24 hours before his birthmom sent a text message to the agency asking for him back. There were a lot of lies and manipulation involved that have made it hard to believe this was "God's plan" because God is not a God of lies and manipulation. Our hearts are broken, but we are keeping our eyes on Jesus.
I sent the following message to our family and friends today....
These last two weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions, while wrestling with God over some very deep theological issues. We have been chewing through two main things, 1) What is Gods will and 2) Jeremiah 29:11.
I have often struggled with understanding what GodҒs will is. Some people believe that God has everything in your life lined up A-Z and has purposed specific things in your life to happen. And I was somewhere on this spectrum. When contemplating marriage, career, schooling, kiddos, or even staying/getting out of the Air Force; we have often asked and prayed for GodӒs will to be done. But, these last two weeks have rocked my ideas about GodԒs will for our lives, because for the first time in nearly 32 years, I questioned what was truly meant by the writers of the New Testament when talking about GodҒs will.
I found myself searching the bible about a week ago for GodӒs will and found that in many verses, there was some kind of directive either before or directly after talking about GodԒs will. So, I came to the simple conclusion that Gods will for our lives is to do the things he says to do and to avoid the things he says not to do. Sounds too simple right? ThatҒs what I thought too, until I looked up the word, thelemaӔ which is used in the original Greek text to translate willӔ. When you look at the true meaning of thelema; it simply means to do what God wants you to do. Thelema is the purpose of God to bless mankind through Christ and what God wishes to be done by us.Ӕ (studylight.org) Thelema does not denote any huge detailed plan, we are simply to be obedient to what God says to do in His word. For example, love God, love others, pray without ceasing, look after orphans and widows, love your spouse, and be good stewards of what God has given you, etc... Stay away from sexual immorality, stealing, marital unfaithfulness, murder, lying, deception, etc
So, then the question of Jeremiah 29:11 came into play. IŒd always looked at that verse that God has great plans, purposes, and details about what He wants me to accomplish here on earth. But, if Gods will was to simply be obedient to His word, then how does, ғFor, I know the plans I have for youŔ fit into all of this? So, I went to the Hebrew text and once again was rocked by the original translation.
For I know the thoughts I think towards you,Ӕ saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.Ӕ Jeremiah 29:11
When looked at this verse in context of what was going on with Jeremiah and the Israelites, it becomes clear that I have completely missed the boat about this verse! I now believe God was promising the restoration of His relationship with Israel through this verse, but I also think the expected endӔ is Jesus Christ and God is promising to ultimately restore our relationship with Him through the sacrifice of Christ. This verse is not earthly based; it is eternity based. God is not saying, I have great plans or details for you here on earthӔ, I believe Hes saying, ғI have great plans for eternity, I love you and I want you to be a part of it! The rest is basically up to a personal decision each of us has to make!
These studies have changed our perspective on a lot of things. We have boiled it all down to this: God measures our faithfulness, not by our success rate (as defined by the world), but by our obedience. Our success rate with children stinks; 1 precious little girl living, 2 in heaven and 1 just out of reach! This side of eternity, we may never understand why these things were allowed to happen. However, there is freedom in believing that God did not ԓintend or ԓpurpose or ԓplan for these things to happen. We live in a fallen world. A world filled with sin and shortcomings. An imperfect world! So, imperfect things happen! But, what really matters is whether or not we are obedient to God and living according to His word! This is easy to do when things are going well, but more importantly are we being obedient to God when our hopes, dreams and plans fail? When we are walking through the deepest of valleys? When we are deeply wounded by the consequence of sin? When we have to say goodbye to our child?
God measures our faithfulness, not by our success rate, but by our obedience!
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