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The child that I gave birth to in 1974, and gave to another, is on facebook. I know he is my bio son, just from gazing at his profile picture. He has the same eyes, nose, mouth and a bit of my smirk, in this picture.
Even though it was a closed adoption, I have known where he went since the beginning. In what was an unlikely coincidence, a friend of mine informed me, it was her brother and his wife, that he was placed with.
I never once thought of interfering. My life was such a mess, that never did I regret my decision either.
After contacting his Aunt the other day, I recieved a message this morning. He is willing to talk. The door has opened.
The advice needed from you wonderful people here, should I insist he send for his original birth certificate, so that he is secure in his knowledge, that I am his bio momma? Once again, I have zero doubt myself.
My heart is pounding as I wait for each and every email. I am super excited, nervous, scared. I have four children and a wonderful husband, and they all know about him. They do not know, that we may be close to meeting him. I prefer to keep this to myself before opening that door.
The advice needed from you wonderful people here, should I insist he send for his original birth certificate, so that he is secure in his knowledge, that I am his bio momma? Once again, I have zero doubt myself.
Well, my first piece of advice is to take words like 'insist' and remove them from your vocabulary during the reunion. Replace it with "suggest" or "Offer to help" - but not insist.
Second - you assume he has access to his original birth certificate - most adopted adults don't. In fact, if the reason you're suggesting he might want access is to confirm the biological relationship, it's very possible that the only way you'll be able to do that is by taking a DNA test.
Good luck with your journey.
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In the state of Kansas, the adoptee, can send in for their original certificate. Its that easy! I had no intention of telling him I insist, I was asking a question here, maybe I did not make myself clear.
Good luck ? What a warm welcome that was. Having a bad day?
No Jill, not a bad day, I was honestly wishing you luck - reunion is hard for everyone and we can all use all the luck we can get.
That's great that the adoption took place in a state that allows adoptees access to their original birth certificate - hopefully he is receptive to obtaining a copy - so you can all have peace of mind.
I honestly DO wish you luck - as I said above, those of us involved in reunion can use as much of it as possible :)