After having my first contact with my bmother through a letter and picture this month, I'm faced with something I never thought about when preparing for our reunion. It may not seem to be a big deal, but we are very different socioeconomically. The intermediary I'm working with made mention that we probably live very different lives and there may be differences in this area, but I didn't think much about it until now. After receiving her picture, it made things much more apparent. I hate that I have such confused feelings over something that shouldn't matter, but I don't quite know how to process it. How do I deal with this issue? Has anyone experienced anything like this?
I haven't dealt with the issue, but I have met adoptees in my triad support group who have. Is there a triad support group in your area? That might help you.
There is not a huge difference in terms of socio-economic status between me and my son or his family. They were better off finanically than I was initially, but not by such an extreme margin (i.e. they were comfortable and somewhat well off but not filthy rich). Nowadays, I would say we are probably closer in socioeconomic status. Actually, I always worried that my son would grow up TOO well off, and be more status conscious and materialistic, but that has not been the case.
Have you been exposed to people from different backgrounds than yours? How do you feel about them? I think if you try to find commonalities and things you like about your birth mother, and focus on those things, rather than on the socioeconomic differences, you will be fine.
I guess it depends on what your reasons for searching were to begin with, but maybe just knowing that this woman gave you life, and had the sense and heart to want a better life for you could be enough. You don't need to be best friends. But I can understand your confused feelings.