emotional roller-coaster after reunion

Hello everyone! I was wonderfully reunited with my birthdaughter three years ago. She was 21 years old at the time and she searched for and "found" me immediately after the "closed" records opened after her 21st birthday. Since that time, we have gotten together a number of times and at first, we e-mailed each other very often. Even her aparents were very encouraging of the reunion and very interested in getting together/getting to know me as well. I feel like we have also become friends. We are actually living in the same state and... not far from each other - only about 25 min drive away! My bdaughter was just finishing her undergrad degree at the time of our reunion in a performance field. Now, she is contintuing on in her education working toward a Masters and at the same time working on starting her professional performance career. But, something happened last summer when I was with her and her aparents at a public event in her hometown. We were all walking around together and MANY people came up to her after a performance she gave to congratulate her/let her know how much they enjoyed it, etc. But, they all also asked if I was her mother! (We look like TWINS!) Of course, this was with her amother right there as well. VERY awkward indeed! She repeatedly introduced me as her bmother and her amother as such. DAYS later, she and her amother asked to "meet" with me - she told me that that day and events of that day REALLY upset her. She did NOT want anyone other than her closest friends to know she is adopted - she said she is afraid it will ruin her budding career. I was alright with that and after discussing it, we decided that if the occasion ever arose again that we were seen in public together, I would be introduced simply as a "relative" to explain away the resemblance without revealing tmi! But, since then, I have been SO scared about doing or saying the wrong thing! I really don't want to drive her away! I know she is very busy, but it now seems she hardly ever contacts me and she doesn't even let me know when she will be performing any more. I am afraid we are drifting apart and I am even more afraid that this may be the way she wants it! I am afraid of losing her all over again! I don't know if I can handle the grief of a loss like that! I could barely handle the grief of her loss the first time 24 years ago. Any suggestions?