Looking to support my fiancee...

Hi there, First time poster and I am here in hopes to find some guidance as to how to best support me fiancee (whom I adore, by the way) in respect to her wanting to have both her adoptive parents and her birth parents at our wedding (I imagine in 2011 so no HUGE rush) I told her I was thinking of going this route and she thought it'd be a good idea. And perhaps if she sees good results in me then she'll come aboard. I know she was feeling it especially hard today and did search out some forums but had no joy as they seemed to be quite quiet. Background (as she has told it to me, perhaps a bit swayed my my personal opinions): She's Irish (I am Canadian) and she has always known she was adopted. In her mid twenties she was able to contact her birth mother who had been wanting to speak with her (as I understand it that decision is up to the child, in this case) They have a bit of a difficult relationship as she believes (backed up by her birth grandmother) that her birth mother has some undiagnosed mental issues (done to herself as far as they say) and so the birth mother can be a wee bit selfish by times (perhaps more my opinion) ANYWAY. The birth mother and the adoptive parents rowed out a while ago and the adoptive parents asked the birth mother not to contact them again which, understandably, puts a bunch of pressure on my lovely. She feels bad sometimes for even wanting to make contact...like her adoptive mother resents her for it. And so this puts pressure on her about the wedding, yeah? For my part, I just want her to do what she wants. It's her day, after all. I also want to be able to offer some sage advice but not having the requisite experience in this case I cannot. Don't get me wrong, I do offer opinions on these things, like when she speaks about her birth mother, but I am also keenly aware that I have no frigging clue... She has a great life. She's well educated and about to finish a PhD. She's fit and boxes like a champ (in fact, she is one!). She's the most remarkable girl I have ever met and so it troubles me when something troubles her because normally she's SO able to figure things out with apparent ease. She's the easiest person to talk to that I have ever met which is why I fell in love with her even when I was trying to keep my guard way up. But back to the wedding and such. She wants to have both of her birth parents (she just met her birth father this summer and he does not seem to be a problem whatsoever, just a happy sort to have her in his life) come to her hometown in Ireland a few days before the wedding to be involved in the buildup but also to see her adoptive parents, and meet my folks, obviously. But there is the obvious tension that exists between her two mothers and this worries her so. I want to be strong for my future wife and non confrontational...just be there to support her. But I also have that "manly" feeling of wanting to protect her and tell anyone that causes her stress to go pound salt. The thing is, I am lost here. No experience, as mentioned. I just want to see her happy and so I say very little except when she asks me directly for an opinion. Like I told her that I DO think her birth mother is manipulative. Like I told her that I think her adoptive mother HAS to be understanding that her wedding is HER wedding. Like I told her that I think she should invite who SHE wants... But she is so concerned about causing strife for the parties involved. She is in the middle. For my part I can safely say that I am not worried about "me" though this message might read as though I am. I seriously just wish to be able to support her as best I can and help her in whatever she needs. I guess I am hoping for some responses from people that have some experience with this that will elicit some more conversation as I know there are things I am leaving out. Thanks for your time reading this ramble.