Thanks to all

Well I have not been on here in about a year. I came here for support and I was given it and I should do the same for others. I used to post on here when I was in the process of searching for my birth parents My story: I am now 21 and out of college working hard. Anyways about a year or so ago I started to contact my Bmom. It caused so many problems with my aparents of feeling insecure that we did not speak as much as we did in the past. I was growing up and looking for answers as to who I was so that is why I felt I needed to get in contact. Finally after a few letters my bmom and I started speaking on the phone and I was utterly disappointed. I was ready, but she was not. In my mind I was angry. How could she still be sad about giving me up when she made this choice and still say she loves me and that she wishes she never made that choice. To this day I still think she made the choice and she should be satisfied with where she is. Maybe I am a man and I dont want all the emotions but I cant tell her I wish any different because I dont know her. I thank her, but I dont think I would ever want my life different. So with more talk and more lies from her came more frustration and I shut off communication last january on my birthday. :( but no desire right now to reconnect Now my bdad. my bmom lied that she didnt know where he was and tons of things so I was left on my own to find him. With his name and birthday and where he was from I located him (only to find out he lived in same town as her and there kids went to rival high schools). So I called him one evening in August, out of the blue, said this may sound strange but I would like to see if you are the person I am trying to locate can I ask a few questions. He said sure. I asked and finally I said now dont freak out but I think I may be your son. He immediatly responded with " first and middle name" but he never knew my last name. We talked for almost 2 hours that evening. Exchanged pictures that night. I met him 5 months later in December. Probably the most nervous I have ever been but things turned out wonderful. Now I still talk to him once a week. He even gave me a recomendation/in way to the job I am about to start. Most importantly he was honest with me. He told me what he believed and how he felt even if it was not exactly what I wanted to hear. He is REAL. As a guy and a person who is not naive, I want the truth. In my opinion I was left 21 years ago. If you owe me anything, I would want it to be honesty. You have your life and I have mine. If they mesh then fantastic and maybe we start a friendship/parent/whatever realtionship you want to call it. But if you lie and beat around the bush, I will feel more hurt then I did before. So now, since meeting my father feel satisfied. I hope that him and I become closer but a phone call every week has made me feel loved plenty from someone I was told did not care about me. I am happy. I dont feel sad anymore about it. Anyways thanks for the support I had when I was feeling down. Not sure how I would have coped without some of the support I got from here. Thanks