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My wife and I are currently in the process of adopting and I am finding it difficult to know what to put into the dear birthparent letter. There is so much to say but dont want to sound pushy or high and mighty.
I was wondering what would you look for as the more important parts of these letters? I never realized how difficult it could be to write a letter. Even after getting started i find myself unable to articulate many things, as we are going through ministry of child welfare we dont know if the parent would want open or closed adoption, also unsure as to how should word that we are open to any level aof openness but prefer a more open aspect to it. Any input on this would be greatly appreciated as I seem to suck at writing this important letter. I do not want to make this letter to long but i dont want it to short either...
please help all advice needed. Thank you in advance.
When I was looking through portfolio's of would be adoptive parents, I fell in love with the couple that adopted my daughter through their letter. They gave me a brief history of their heritage, told me how long they had been wanting to adopt and why, and were willing to work with me as to what was comfortable for visits (it wasn't very detailed), and they told me their professions. The letter was very honest and heartfelt. I think most b-moms are looking for honesty and something in the a- parents that is familar to their own family. I am sure whatever letter you write will be perfect for someone. :love: Good Luck!
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baby_shimmer3
When I was looking through portfolio's of would be adoptive parents, I fell in love with the couple that adopted my daughter through their letter. They gave me a brief history of their heritage, told me how long they had been wanting to adopt and why, and were willing to work with me as to what was comfortable for visits (it wasn't very detailed), and they told me their professions. The letter was very honest and heartfelt. I think most b-moms are looking for honesty and something in the a- parents that is familar to their own family. I am sure whatever letter you write will be perfect for someone. :love: Good Luck!
I hope so I am having allot of trouble writing it, like we really prefer open adoption as we want our futre child to know biological family as well.. could you pm me if youd be willing to look through what i have so far? and let me know what i could do to have it flow better? or what i may have missed out on including? or hints on rewarding as i know what i want ot say just not sure how.... thakns for the input though i greatly appreciate it..
I think that the expectant parents want you to be as honest as you can, for example "we want our future child to know his or her biological family as well so we want some sort of an open adoption." What do you envision as open. If you're not sure don't say so. Be yourself!
that i do have in there, i talked alittle about when and why i started to want to adopt. that all my cousins adopted, and that we do want an open, up to whatever extent they ok with as id like to have visits etc.
Hopefuldad,
I'd encourage you to talk about your wants and how you see your future life with your child as well as his or her birth parents.
Sometimes, people can see the "we want what you want" statement as wishy washy.
You obviously want something - you've said as much - so say it in your letter.
"We'd love to have ongoing visits from time to time, but we're open to talking to you more about what makes you comfortable"
Talk about your parenting style. Your family traditions. Your hobbies and things you like to do.
Just be yourself...
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BrandyHagz
Hopefuldad,
I'd encourage you to talk about your wants and how you see your future life with your child as well as his or her birth parents.
Sometimes, people can see the "we want what you want" statement as wishy washy.
You obviously want something - you've said as much - so say it in your letter.
"We'd love to have ongoing visits from time to time, but we're open to talking to you more about what makes you comfortable"
Talk about your parenting style. Your family traditions. Your hobbies and things you like to do.
Just be yourself...
i put in there that we are hoping for an open adoption and would like visits but are ok with whatever they happen to be comfortable with as well. i not very good at articulating what i want ot get across the way i want to. and i like to have an outside opinion, i have bneen lucky enough for shimmer to go through it for me. if anyone else wants to it woul d be appreciated as well as the more input the better i could maybe word my feelings...
Hi,
I am a birthmother and picked the parents through an open adoption agency. I found the right parents looking for someone that has same interests as me. Since he is my kid he will have some genetic personality traites I did not want someone who was going to force him to be the way they wanted him to be. I found the best ones had a good amount of pictures showing them doing there day to day life and a list of things they liked music sports hobbies ect. and just one page per parent with their interests and what they were looking for and one page about why they are adopting and thanking the birth parent for the gift they will be giving you. I don't know it that helps but you don't need to be a great writer just tell them about you and your wife. As well as being very honest.
One thing that I found really offputting in some letters was adoptive parents being incredibly vague: no mention of whether there would be a stay-at-home parent, or who works, or what their lives look like at all.
I think i have everything in there now just trying figure out how to end it.. its tougher then the rest was i finding.
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