The Holidays and Your OA

Okay, I realize I should probably go first then :) Each year I buy two matching ornaments - one for me to keep and one to give to Cupcake. So I'll need to do that this year.... I'm a little torn on whether to send an actual gift or not (other than the ornament of course) or if I should just send a card or something. So I'm pretty up in the air right now.....I thought about practicing knitting so that I'd be good enough by now to knit her something (I've found some cute Cupcake patterns) but that's no dice. Maybe next year...

I'm not commenting on our open adoption, because currently both of our children's birthmoms are not around. But I just wanted to comment about you sending a gift to your daughter. I think it is very appropriate. My children now 9 and 10 treasure things that their biomoms have given to them. They are tangible items that they can hang on to. Some things have been, stuffed animals, one painted a picture which hangs in my daughter's room, a prayer in a frame in my son's room, books and a bible. Anyway....just my 2 cents. Sincerely, Saj

My son's Dad is ill so all is up in the air, but I will see him, perhaps some of his family. I also do the ornament thing.

I got "The Night Before Christmas" recordable book from Hallmark and crocheted a hat (that is my tradition.) I probably won't see him, and that's ok. TG, I really think in your case you need to do what is comfortable for you. If you aren't ok with sending a gift that is beyond an ornament, then don't.

You know Belle - I recall that she liked books, and I read a lot (and started to read pretty young)...I'll keep my eye out for a nice book I think.

That is why I buy Kiddo books. I hope that loving to read is genetic.

Hey, me too! It's only been two Christmases so far (since we've already given the gift for this year), but we've decided to give two books each year.

I always buy books because I hate buying toys. All toys I buy deal with using a kids imagination, otherwise nope. I KNOW I won't get a visit, unless one is requested by Supergirl. I KNOW I won't get anything else from other then the card I received. Her presents will be late due some issues. However, I am still on the search for her gifts. I have a few things but nothing really that grabs me.

AJ got an ornament from D the year he was born. This is the first year we put it on the tree. I never put it up before because I was afraid something would happen to it, but this year, I thought "What the heck - it's going on the tree." I told her we put it up, and she said she has no idea what I'm talking about, lol...JD got an ornament a few years back, and he plucked it off our tree and put it on his tiny Charlie Brown tree in the bedroom, lol... One thing I wish I would have done was have the kids buy gifts for C and D at the Santa Sale at school...The gifts are crap, but isn't that sort of the point? To unwrap that huge faux diamond ring or Mom Notepad and love it more than anything in the world? I could kick myself for not thinking of it, but I will remember next year for sure...

I am the a-parent but both b-parents came over a week before Christmas and spent the night. My wife and I asked if they would mind baby sitting so we could go out on a date. Of course they did not mind. So while we were out they opened presents, played, did the bath and bed thing. When we got back we all four sat around and talked. We realized this was the first time the two b-parents had spent time alone with our daughter since the hosipital (4 years). Everyone really had a good time.

I don't know if the love to read is genetic but my older daughter is definitely taking after me in that department. She is often found with her nose in a book and strains to read in the dark in the car sometimes just like me when I was a little girl. Jesse (my bson) is only 2 months old this Christmas so i didn't get him a present this year. I will next year when he will enjoy it more. I did send an ornament for him and one for their family that I had made with a snowman family - mom, dad and baby. It turned out really cute. I'm working on knitting a sweater for him but I didn't finish it in time for Christmas so I'll send it when I finish it. I didn't get a visit but I saw him the day after Thanksgiving and so far we are making plans to meet up in January or Feb. and go to a zoo near their house with all the kids. I really hope this actually happens!

I know I'm a little behind on this, but the a-parents and I have an agreement that since his birthday and Christmas are so close I could send an ornament and it was a savings bond, but since you need a social for that, I just opened a savings account in my name that is for him. I sent the ornament and wrote an update letter and told them about the savings account, and that when he is older we could talk about a way to get the money to him. I didn't want to ask for his social, I thought that might seem weird. I wish I had gotten a visit, but by Christmas I was already in Hawaii with my husband. The only present they gave me was my scheduled update. I don't even get a card for Mother's Day...which I'm a little upset about seeing as if it weren't for me they wouldn't have this child, but whatever. I didn't send her a Mother's Day card either. Actually, they defriended me around Mother's Day on Facebook...anyways, wow this is long! SometingSerene - I like the handmade ornament idea! I just bought a Hallmark ornament - the first one I got was a Noah's Ark one since I gave him my Noah's Ark music box when he was born and then I got him a big '2' that looked like a sugar cookie, since it was his second Christmas, even though he was 1.

Sorry to hear about that Mandi. I cannot imagine an A-family being that way. We are on Facebook with almost the entire birth family (on both sides). It is such a great way to share pictures and stories. I do not understand how one could turn their back on someone that provided them with the greatest gift that could ever be given. (minus behavior that would be extremely harmful to the child). No real solutions (just empathy) for you other than to keep faith.

Thanks, I def. felt like they used me to get a child. And that once they had what they wanted they were done. They were friends of mine from school before I got pregnant, and I never in my life thought they would behave that way. Luckily I've made great strides and don't feel like that now, but every now and then those feelings come back.