Adopting again - how important that sibling have like background?

i am so in this situation. my dd is 4 and came home from guatemala at 6 months old. of course, it is a closed adoption. maybe we could locate her birth family some day. i am over 2 years in process for a second child in another central american country, which is beginning to feel like a mistake. i chose this route because i wanted my children to have a similar birth story. i may need to rethink this plan-as i'm growing older by the minute (age of child/age of parent country requirements). what if the 2nd child has an open adoption? how is that for the child who has a closed adoption.

I do not have any experience to draw from on as all of us were domestic adoptees but will give you my thoughts for what it is worth. I read threads about the different levels of openess within a family and I feel sad for the one with lesser openness. But at the same time it never bothered me that mom and dad had met my sisters mother yet knew nothing at all about my brothers or my family by birth. It also never bothered me when my sister reunited and I hadn't. It was something that just was. What did bother me was the extreme differences of personalities that resided within our family unit. Perhaps you could consider focusing on your daughters specific personality type and matching with eparents who share those traits so your child may have a similar personality? Kind regards,Dickons

What are your concerns about your child knowing his/her birthparents, having pictures and history of them?

that the other child would not have those.

My DD is a CC, domestic infant adoptee who was adopted at birth into a family with a "mix" of circumstances (international, domestic transracial) She is the only sibling in her family who does not have another sibling from the same circumstance as she, as her parents went on to adopt 2 from each. However, she is also the only one who has access to both her birthparents, and the only child in the family who has a birthparent (me) who is actively participating in a degree of openess with her family. From what I've seen, they are all one close knit family and their differences in heritage and circumstances have always been celebrated.

I think that her concerns are that 1 of her children will have ongoing communication/information and the other won't...That maybe the daughter she is already parenting will feel "left out"... I believe the OP was just highlighting the differences between her (prospective) child and her (parented) child, and wondering if those differences will be a hindrance. I don't think she was saying that ongoing communication was a concern, but wondering if the differences between two children with two different adoption journeys MAY be.

Hello. As a domestic bi-racial adoptee who was raised by a white family who denied the blatant fact that I am bi-racial on one hand I can see how it would have been an advantage to have another bi-racial child to go through all of their antics with. Honestly I think where ever your heart/God leads you is where you are supposed to go to adopt. I think the key thing is honoring your children’s heritage; bio and adopted. Making family traditions of cultural activities from all of families heritage and equally involving everyone is something I would encourage. There are families that have bio children that grow up in nice homes where they are loved and the kids end up totally messed up and there are kids from horrible families that turn out to be well adjusted happy adults. There are children raised by other races that still feel a cultural identity to their race, and others that reject their own race. I guess what I’m getting at is to me no matter the circumstances if you instill a strong sense of self and show your children how much they are loved and supported that none of the other stuff really matters. I am part African American and married a white man, 2 of my children look completely Caucasian and one has darker skin but still blue eyes and straight hair. I do wonder whether my “darker” child will identify with being part African American, while my other sons won’t despite the fact that genetically they all are equally the same amount part African American. I guess what I’m getting at is even with biological children of bi-racial parents it is hard to tell where cultural identities will fall. So as long as children are raised in a home where all races are treated equal I don’t think it matters. I know nothing about my African American biological family and my children look Caucasian but I still will encourage learning about black history and culture in my home, and pride for all of our possible heritage.