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Ok, so my husband and I have 3 foster children (4 yr old girl and twin boys age 3...sibling set) who have all been diagnosed with RAD and PTSD.
Today I'm about to :grr: in complete frustration over behavior issues. We are hopeful to adopt them as TPR has been granted in both Juvenile and Circuit Courts, but I'm wondering if these kids will EVER "allow" us to be their parents?!
AND I'm really tired of people saying :Oh, that's so normal for that age. My child........" IT'S NOT NORMAL!! This is not my first time parenting as I have two bio children.
What I'm wondering is: what do you do when you are SUPER frustrated with your RAD child? How do you calm down and re-center yourself?
Early bedtimes and naps. I remind myself a million times the behaviors are part of the illness, not a deliberate attempt to drive me crazy(though they will push your buttons if you have any).
Tag team parenting with your partner/spouse can help. Code word for when you feel nuts that allows the other person to take over while you go regroup.
If the weather is nice, go outside. I find playing in the dirt with even the craziest kids very theraputic for all.
Journal behaviors you notice and look for triggers. It helps to have a plan ahead of time to deal with repeat behaviors.
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People do not get it. It is NOT normal. You are not crazy, as someone kindly told me last week. :)
I'm planning some self care time this weekend. It is HARD to parent these kids no matter how much you love them!
lucyjoy - great suggestions! we have had our 9 yr old twin boys for almost 2 months now and whew! Im tired! I have used some of your suggestions already...we take turns - he does mornings and i focus on the after dinners ( since they are in school right now). In about a week, i go back to work and hubby will be with them fulltime during the summer. We do have our code words and if we are doing things seperately with them, a quick text lets hubby know (or me) that one of us needs a break. They are learning but its a trying time right now at the beginning...we also let each other get some "me-time" away from the house to re-energize too.