I gotta ask..

A lot can happen in 4 months. Try not to worry about it.

Be sure you keep the letter and share it with your lawyer. It could be considered a threat, and might result in suspension of visitation or at least, supervised visitation at a neutral site.

Was she in jail when TPR happened? How long had she been in jail?

If you are in the post-tpr, pre-adoption period, DCF can allow for supervised visits if its deemed in the best interest of the child I wouldn't ignore it. Alert your CW and advocate for what you see as being in the child's best interest. You can make a pretty good case in 4 months

Thanks all of you!! I am trying not to worry.. and for the most part.. really believe it is just a bunch of babble from her. She isnt the brightest crayon in the box. TPR has been completed since July 2009. She was in prison at that time. She had actually just gotten there about 4 weeks prior to the hearing. But, they had prearranged to have her conference called in. so technically she was present and she ended up signing voluntarily. Prior to that.. her visits had been canceled with a no contact order since Feb. 2009. so she hasnt seen him for over a year. It is Bio gramma that has visits right now.. I dont see how it is in Gilligans best interests.. but it is what they think it is.. Its one of those weird things .. her and I.. I dont like her.. dont like any of that family.. all the kids are losers ( sorry they are, this isnt the only one that is in prison.. or had been.. nor is this the first that children have been taken from) They are all a bunch of druggies with no concern for any one but themselves. I hate to blame this g-ma for mistakes of her kids. I would hate it if someone did that to me.. blamed me for my sons mistakes. But.. they all learned it somewhere you know? I tease sometimes that I got 2 out of 3.. thats not bad right? I dont feel that she on her own is a risk to G-man.... it is when bio mom returns..that leaves an unsettling feeling. Id rather have never met any of them.. I find them of no good to me or my family.. my Little Buddy isnt hurting for grandparents or uncles or cousins or great grandparents.. or any of that! All from my side and my ex husbands.we all get along marvelously and we all love him. But.. I know that HE someday may wish he had known her.. so I am trying to keep that in mind. If I didnt mention before. I have reasons for the distrust. There have been things from the beginning of this that they have schemed and back stabbed and told me ( and CPS) one thing.. then done another.. or just not done as they were suppose to. It amazed me. and being unfamiliar with any dealings with CPS I tried to do every little thing to the Tee that they told me . follow the rules precisely.. nothing was worth risking having him taken from me for not following those rules. and that includes a no contact order on my own son too.. no t-giving.. no xmas ( 2 now) juggling what memeber of the family would have a holiday dinner and arranging one of my own so that he could be there when the baby wasnt! sad sad sad... Jeesh. I got off onto a pity party there.. back to business. I did meet CW this morning. While she does shake her head like I do.. thinking that BM is whacked.. she did agree that she also could see the G-ma pulling some stunt.. but that we do have some time on our sides.. AND once adoption is final.. I will have total say over it all..nice to know.. but still.. what about keeping her in his life.. ( wish I could ask him if he cared!)

Well, since bio mom signed consents, then you have less to worry about! There is no revoking that at this point. She is just full of it I'd say!

Yes.. she is.. its her mother that I dont trust.. there fore leading me to have all these horrible thoughts.. the ones that get your imagination running wild. Then, you stop yourself and think.. Oh.. come on self! Your getting carried away !! But.. they still linger there!!! Ya know??

Document everything. Every time they have your grandson back late, or do something they are not "supposed" to do, or say something that is of concern, or your grandson comes home with any problems (emotional, physical, poor condition, etc.) -- Document. Get one of those composition notebooks. They are legally admissible in court. They have pages that cannot be removed without being noticed, and cannot be added, so they are legally admissible documentation in court. I was in a sticky situation with a foster daughter, and was told to document everything. your emails to the caseworkers are also admissible. tell them stuff through emails, not over the phone, so you have proof that they know, and when they knew. (The emails to the guardian ad litem are not able to be subpoenaed due to attorney/client privilege.) In your composition notebook, do not write your negative feelings and negative opinions about the situation or anyone involved, as this notebook could be subpoenaed for court. Just write facts and actions - what you did, who you contacted, responses (or lack thereof) from others. I would include a photocopy of that letter from bio mom. I would write EVERYTHING. Date everything. And I would ask if there is anything you can do to speed up the finalization process. I would want that done before she gets out, if you can. If there are visits, make sure they are all supervised. If bio mom is out before finalization, I would ask that the other gma's visits change to supervised, since daughter will be with her. If that doesn't fly, then get a judge to order that she respect the no-contact order, and never let him be with his bio mom alone, with the consequence being that gma's visits will be terminated if she violates the terms of the visits. Document if you know of any time she lets them have alone time, and report it immediately. Good luck, and keep us posted.

thanks for that.. I hadnt thought of any sort of notebook like you mentioned. However I do email CW constantly with good and bad. Keep her updated on doc appts and everything. adn I print every one of them at the end of our conversations. I hadnt thought of the lateness in returning him..they are never on time for that.. usually it is just 15 minutes or so.. She ( gma) is really pretty good to deal with on her own.. its her daughter that seems to fuel it.. since she has been locked up things have been smoother and easier going. But..some of the things that together they tried to pull ( or did ) when she was home will never be forgotten.. by me or CPS.. too bad caseworkers have changed since then. I have no idea at this point how some of those things were put into his case file. Getting that letter was what got me all worked up.. and had my mind running wild. I have tried and tried to speed up this process and I think at this point.. there is no more I can do..we are waiting for state to do eligibility checks and as of today they have 27 days left to respond! then we need a hearing date. I will be beating on doors very soon to get that on the court schedule! The no contact order now is NONE alone or supervised. they wont even allow her to do video visits at the prison with him. But.. Im sure that is one of those things no one can monitor ya know?

I wouldn't worry about 15 minutes late... We had problems with 1/2 hour or hour late at times, and they weren't bringing her to our home, we had to meet somewhere, with all our other kids waiting in the car.It is good that you are emailing everything. I would make sure you have every little concerning thing in a court-admissible document (composition notebook, email to CW, etc.). And I was told by one caseworker to not email "vents." It is good to vent sometimes, but if you don't want something to show up in court, don't put it in an email. It's not likely that all of your emails will be read in court, but some might, and once they're in an email, you can't control it. So any vents about the situation - unhelpful, just have to get it off of your chest, but don't want it repeated sort of things, do those in a phone call.As far as visits go, wait and see where you are by the time she gets out, then ask for a judge to order those conditions on the other gmas visits (no alone time - or no time with bio mom, depending on the status of the no-contact). (ie: you will do this or your visits will automatically change to supervised, or your visits will cease.) I know no one can make her stick to it, and it will be so hard for her, but if she is violating it, make her accountable. You yourself can't really make her accountable, but if it is stipulated in court, she can be held accountable by the court, and her visits will automatically change to supervised or non-existent.For bio mom, I doubt she will be given any visits. It's just a matter of what rules the court wants to set on gma as far as allowing her daughter to see him.Hope things go more smoothly. Try not to worry about what you can't control. I know, that's so hard for us foster parents. That "Serenity Prayer" comes in handy way too often...Hang in there, enjoy your grandson, and know that we are all on your side.

quick update.. just got word all paperwork is back.. so now.. hearing is all we need!! My fingers are crossed for may7!!!! yea!!!!

I've got my fingers crossed for you. Good luck! :)

Thanks all! I am still having a hard time believing all this may come to and end so quickly now!! But I am thankful it is!!