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Hi all
I'm Dawn i'm 26 years old. my case maybe diffrent to yours. i ahve 2 little boys graeme who has an attachment disorder and i struggled with on my own with very little support . He has been adopted now its coming up nearly 2 years he has been in his new family but it still really hurts me. Jayden is my youngest i had a really strong bond with him he got abused by his older brother. he has been adopted for nearly 3 years now . i miss him so so much. i am still really huring from this experiance. it just seems i have failed as a mum. i am doing nothing but blame my self. i refuse to eat meals i refuse to scoilises with other people. i now suffer from deppression and axaity. recently i have staryed self harming .
I have an open adoption i get 2 letters from them a year. i find it hard to write to them due to the hurt and pain im hurting from. it really hurts me on their birthdays and at christmas time
First I want to say, stay strong not only for yourself but for your boys.
I am dealing with depression and not having my son. I gave him up 5 years ago and I did it for his safety and because I couldn't afford to get his medical needs taken care of (he was a premie - 2months early) and needed a couple of surgeries.
Anyway, I have found a few things that help me cope with the depression. I have found things that really keep me calm and mind busy and I do them. For instance, I love the outdoors and planting things so I have my own "small" garden and I take care of it. I also love writing, so when I am depressed I write in my journal. But the one that works the most for me is to play my violin.
So I guess what I am saying is, you should try to find things that will keep you sane and mind busy so you're not thinking about your boys. I know that you will never forget your boys ( I won't either) but on the days that are really bad, you need to remember that you're needs are important and so you need to find things that will help you not be so stressed or depressed.
I hope this helps.
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