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we are planning a visit with my sons firstmom in July, she called and asked if it would be ok if DS took a family photo of him with his bio-sisters and cousins. I think that his brother(my bio-son) should be included in this photo but I don't want to make a big deal out of it. I would appreciate any input from adoptees as well so I am cross posting. My sons are 5 and 4.
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I can see both points of view but considering cousins are in the mix I would suggest that you consider the following. Picture one: bio siblings/cousinsPicture two: bio siblings/adopted siblings And possibly even a third picture of picture two with both first and adoptive parents... I don't see it as an either/or or negating your family - simply that picture one is a good picture to have in their family. Kind regards,Dickons
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I think Dickons suggestion is great. I know as an adoptee I would love to have a photo of me and just my bsiblings. It isn't a reflection on my abro at all. I can totally understand the family wanting such a thing.I think letting them have that, then having one with everyone is a great idea!
My girls bio mom also has asked for this ... I think earlier in my parenting journey I might have had a problem with it (or at least a twinge before agreeing) but now ... I think I understand it more. Heck she has to put up with family pictures of "our" family with "her" kids in them -- so I understand her desire. In our case there are 3 different adoptive families to deal with, 2 are willing, 1 is not. I hope we can figure out a way to get the pictures done before the kids are too old.
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