OT: Need advice - Nanny asking for a loan

Tell her to call 311 and get the number of the closest eviction prevention unit. There should be at least one in every boro I think. New York State got Federal Stimulous money to help people who were out of work and got behind on rent and mortgage payments. She might be eligible for a one time assistance. However, even though this money is federal, the mess in Albany means that a lot of agencies are not getting the money that Washington gave the States to give to social service agencies to help communities. Some pots of money stopped flowing in April, and won't start up again until we get a state budget. If this is the case, this might not be an option right now. Honestly, I think that a loan that large for someone who has been working for you for 3 months is not a good idea. It will take much longer than the time of your existing relationship for her to pay you back, if she stays on schedule. And what if she doesn't? Do you not pay her her salary? Fire her and cut your losses? Give her more time? If she needs to go to housing court, she needs to go to housing court. Unless she gets a notice called "72 Hour Notice" which is issued by a marshall, ordering her to vacate within 72 hours, she is not going to get evicted. If she goes to court, the court may offer her the same deal she is asking from you, in which she adds 800 dollars to her rent every month until her back rent is paid.

I would have a really hard time saying no because I'm terrible at saying no! But it's not a good idea. To me, that's a lot of money and you haven't known her long. I would be tempted to do what you mentioned, offer her a few hundred that you are ok with not getting back. It may not be her total solution but could help some and you would feel less bad about saying no altogether.

When I first read the title I was going to chime in that I had borrowed from my employers not long after I had been a Nanny for them. I can't remember why right now for the life of me. I want to say it was so I could pay for a class I wanted to take...gosh I can't even remember. I had been out of work for a couple weeks between jobs, but as I recall, I didn't need rent or anything, so it wasn't that. Can't remember...anyway...it was $700! NOT almost 4K. I paid it back with overtime they needed and we logged it till it was gone. She didn't just "suddenly" get behind $3800. She's been working for you full time for 3 months and I'm assuming you haven't been not paying her...so clearly she is living above her means. That means that now when you need to take $200 a week out of her check she will be even shorter each week. I just don't see a way that she can get out of this hole and repay you. This is a permanent problem unless she can get a guarantee on her P/T income and it sounds like it's not 100% thing. A loan is a temporary solution...she either needs to find more stable full time work, or she needs to live less expensively. I don't see a loan being a solution to her problem and it could certainly start more problems with her full time job if she can't pay you back.

The only way I would give her money is if you gave her the money as a gift. More often than not, when you loan friend/family money it puts too much of a strain on the relationship and it's not worth it. If you do a loan and she doesn't pay back, this is the person that watches your child every day...you don't want to have stress involved in that relationship.

I would feel bad but the answer would be no. If she needs money she should be hitting up her relatives and friends - not someone she's only been working for a short time. Sounds fishy to me.

I think loaning your nanny money, especially a large amount of money, is a bad idea. If she was with you longer, I might consider giving her a raise or a small bonus, but not a loan. That could get ugly.

I have helped friends out from time to time with small loans, less than a thousand, and for emergency medical bills etc. But rent??? There are agencies out there that will assist you if you just know where to look. If you really want to help her, maybe locate some of these agencies local to her and give her a list? I know HUD will help out in emergencies...but I think you have to have very little income, I'm not entirely sure. Or maybe locate some low interest credit card companies she could try or how about that Money Mutual I am always seeing on TV...they offer a thousand if you have at least $800/mo. income and no credit check...Montel Williams is the spokeperson for that commercial. It could maybe at least be steps in the right direction for her. That is the route I would go...just my opinion! Blessings, Michelle

No way. She's your employee. There needs to be a line or someone will end up getting hurt. It sounds harsh, but you can say it nicely with a kind heart. I really hope you don't do it. Trust your DH.

I agree with Aclee, there is no way she could be that behind in rent without some significant spending issues. I know I would feel guilty, but I have to say, that is pretty ballsy to ask an employer for that much $$$, much less having only known you for 3 months. I hate saying no too, but I know even if I gave her a few hundred, I'd be resentful of being put on the spot in the first place.

I say NO...NO...NO!!! I would go down that road and even start loaning money.

Brooklyn: Refer your nanny to the " Bridge Program/Project". They're a non-profit organization that gives grants and very low interest loans to people behind on their rent. Their in NYC and Westchester county -Manni:flower:

I would not loan the money. Can you consider allowing her to be a live-in nanny? That would help her with the rent issue.

I hate to throw out a nasty thought but it dawned on my that our bmom got into a similar situation because she was buying drugs instead of paying bills. She was shameless about who she'd ask for money. Are you sure this nanny is clean? Horrible thought but had to get it out there.

I would like to thank everyone for your thoughts and suggestions. We decided to decline her request but offered to recommend her on a few local email lists so she can pick up some extra babysitting gigs on nights/ weekends. I also offered to help her research ways to get help (so I really appreciate the leads on departments/places she can check out) or even go with her to the city dept if she needs support.I agree 100% with those who say if we knew her for a very long time not just 3 mos that might change things. But even then - the amount is just too much. I hope everything turns out OK for her, she's great with DD.

I'm glad you made a decision that feels right. And I think it is wonderful that you are going to support her through the process, and accompany her if necessary.