after relinquishment feeling

Yep, children of all ages have always seemed to gravitate towards me, especially after I surrendered my baby in 1972. I've always been great with kids -- I'm not sure why, but I know it's just always been that way. One of the cutest photos from childhood is me feeding a baby when I was only about 2 years old. If there is a small child in the room (or a kitty!), you can bet they'll be in my lap within a few minutes. I was never able to have more children due to secondary infertility. I've been able to devote much of my adult life to kids of all ages, though...so that's filled the void. I do a lot of outreach with youngsters in trouble. I think they often sense that I understand what they're going through...that I've been where they are now. It's a gift I seem to have been born with...

I can't say I noticed any difference. To be honest, I was never much of a baby/child person, though I was with my own son. I think that surprised me, how strongly I bonded to him. I did not have other children (partly by choice and partly by circumstance) and I don't generally gravitate towards babies or kids though I am good with them. I have to get to know them first, though. I really like my neighbors' kids and my friends' kids, but just random kids on the street don't usually set me to melting, the way a random puppy or kitten would. At the same time, I don't go out of my way to avoid them, unless they are having a tantrum or being bratty/annoying and the parents are doing nothing about it. Like Raven, I seem to have an affinity for youth in crisis, espeically teenagers. I have not been as involved as Raven, but have worked and volunteered with them in the past and found it very rewarding. There is something about teenagers that I am really drawn to and I relate to them pretty well.

Raven Song and Just Peachy Thanks for answering. I've just been reading stories where some bmothers have found that they found it hard to be around children because of their experience and had wondered whether that was the norm rather than the exception. Ravensong, It was interesting to hear that you felt children gravitated towards you. From what I've heard, my cousin (according to her mother) gravitated towards my bmother, apparently she followed her around everywhere LOL. My bmother lost 4 babies (one to adoption, twins at birth, later baby late term foetal demise) so I think that she would have loved my cousin as much as if she was her own. Like you though, I think she had an affinity with children all her life (she did have much younger brothers as well), it wasn't necessarily related to her adoption experience. Ravensong, I have that effect with kitties too LOL. Like you, Just Peachy, I don't melt at the sight of random children but when I do get to hang around with children, I'm pretty good at entertaining them (too good sometimes, they often won't let me go LOL). I can understand that both of you can relate to teenagers in crisis, your experience would be invaluable. I know that a lot of us adoptees on this forum find your experience helpful (even though a lot of us are in our 40s LOL). Thanks again for your replies

My husband always jokes that babies and dogs love me. I remember that when a cousin of mine had a baby about 9 months after I placed. It was both agony and wonderful to hold that child. It was very hard not to burst into tears. (Actually, I still tend to rear up when I hold a small baby -- especially one of my children's.) Unlike Raven and Peachy, I later gave birth to two additional children. I probably drove my husband nuts the first couple years of of marriage because I wanted so badly to have a baby I could keep! Our son was born right before our third anniversary and our daughter was born two years and 20 days later. (I would have had more but my DH said he had one of each kind and was afraid to try for the 3rd kind.)

I have been in reunion w/my bson the past few years. I had no idea about the emotional rollercoaster ride that I would be on, and only recently read a few books on the subject. I didn't have any other children, and I was wondering, if I had experienced motherhood with another child or children, would my feelings of sadness and loss be in any way more manageable?

I have always wondered this, too. Not that the other child/ren could ever replace my son, but if it would have made the loss more bearable. I also wonder a lot, too, that because I did not have the actual experience of raising kids, even though I gave birth to one, if I would have been good at it, and what it would have been like to have that experience.