what to expect during first visit

Hi there! We had our first trip in January to meet our son. Food is a terrific icebreaker. While we did bring a few small toys, our son practically melted in our arms when he first tasted a cheerio! We brought some gifts for the orphanage workers which your adoption agency will help with. It's a crazy time adjusting to the time change, assessing your feelings while trying to be objective all at once. Please feel free to PM me if you want more details.

We took one big long trip in the fall of 2007, so can't address the 'first trip' vs 'second trip'.We stayed in a privately owned apartment within walking distance of the orphanage in Wroclaw.We saw the boys twice a day for the first three days, and have had then 24/7 ever since.What to bring will depend on the child. Our boys were 7 so we brought them each a small stuffed animal. Once they were with us we had playdough (plastolina), matchbox cars, books, coloring books, etc. They also really liked construction paper and scissors and glue sticks. While there we purchased a few dvd's to play off our laptop. They would watch 30 minutes of a movie each night after dinner if they earned all their 'good boy' stickers. (Obedience had never before been heard of, they were like twin Tasmanian devils on crack, so we needed a behavior chart right off the bat.)Our driver threw the 'title' decision firmly into the boys' court and told them they could call us Ciocia & Wuyek, or Mama and Tata, whichever they wanted. We were immediately dubbed "Mama i Tata" and that was the end of it. They were told the day before we got there that they were having special visitors that may become their family, so we didn't have to dance around the 'who are you and what are we all doing' thing.We were almost 18 months from start to referral. It is HARD. Hang in there . . . the Lord is getting a fabulous family addition lined up for you!

Our first visit was 2.5 days and we stayed at a hotel that was walking distance to the orphanage. We were able to be w/ our daughter for a few hours in the morning, then she went back to the group for lunch and nap and then a few hours in the afternoon before dinner. We were not allowed to leave the orphanage grounds. First Day - Meeting w/ director, medical doctor and social worker. We went through records, overview of past, and some info on what to expect. The social worker and our facilitator were with us for the morning when we met our daughter and helped facilitate playtime. Really helpful for language and understanding what worked and didn't work to break the ice. The afternoon the social worker left, but our facilitator was still around - though busy so we were able to spend time together. I believe we also met her physical therapist on day 1 as well. --We didn't bring very much food at all. When it was snack time the orphanage brought her the snack. She had a routine as to when to eat and we didn't really want to mess with that - until the second trip. We brought small toys that enabled us to work through the developmental worksheets (Denvers) we had been given by the developmental specialist (instead of ID.) For us a doll (all cloth) was a life saver. We used the doll to do an activity with us first, then had our daughter have the doll do an activity, then she was ready to do the activity. We also had Usbournes First Polish Words and our daughter LOVED looking at the book. I think it also helped us understand what words she actually knew and we used it to communicate. A small squishy ball that is easy to throw and catch was great for outside games. Finally, crayons and paper. We didn't bring them all at once either. Just the ball and doll for the first day and then we slowly introduced other things over the next 2.5 days. Never as a "present" but more as activities or something to do. We only left the doll and a picture book of our house and family. Buy two of whatever you leave because you might not get it back. Before leaving, try to get an email or phone number that you can use to call or check-in during the wait for the second trip. It is a really hard time for both the child and the parents. Then try to document all of the calls you make and even take pictures of you on the phone to include in a memory book. Finally, if you can ask for a hotel that has internet access. We were able to use skype to talk to our developmental specialist and play back videos that we took during the day. This enabled them to tell us the type of information they would want to see to build a developmental/learning plan - for us for the second trip. (Most people don't do this I think, but it has been very beneficial to us.) I imagine the internet access would be good for family communication as well. Good luck - if you are about to make your first trip.

Hi MenloAve, My wife and I are currently waiting to get our referral and then we will be heading off for our first trip. I noticed in your description of your trip you mentioned a development worksheet and specialist. I'm not sure if that was something you did on your own or the agency mentioned it, but I haven't heard anything specific yet from our agency that references that type of resource while on our first trip. I was wondering if you could give me some addiitonal details on this and if it was independent of your agency if the individual you used might be someone who'd you would be willing to share information about. I Imagine even if they aren't local to us we might be able to use them, especially if they are willing to use skype etc. Thanks,