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My DD saw her mom 9 days ago (supervised by DH and i)
Since that time, she's started saying she's car sick. She rode to Florida without an issue, but no she's carsick all the time
She says "mummy gets carsick and we're made the same." She's used those exact words 3 times over the past 9 days.
I have no idea when T squeezed that in. They were always within eye shot and never more that 30 feet away. argh!
I want to correct this misperception. Its ok if she wants to be carsick, but it's going to be super hard as she begins ot see the chemical and mental imbalances and assumes she's going to be that way, because they're "made the same"
I don't think I can bring up alcoholism - and the tough line between genetics vs choice - to a 5 year old
I tried explaining genetics vs free will. And how your genetics are a combination or mummy, daddy, and unique traits that are solely yours. Not sure how far that sunk in, but I'll keep trying
Question for the group - how to you counter BM "input" without dissing the source?
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Have you talked about how having car sickness will impact her life? That there are tools you can use to not get car sick and if she chooses to work on it - it could be differnent?
D
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I don't think I'd focus so much on that really. It's her way of processing the visit and dealing with things she can't really articulate. I think I'd focus on basic mommy comfort and also directing it to the positive traits she has from bmom if that is the direction the conversation takes.
I'd also make a point of reminding her of things you and her have in common and you aren't "made" the same. Or her and her friends, her dad, even the dog..."dogs like to sleep on their backs sometimes too".
She's 5...kwim?
There is time to address the more concrete message you want to convey but right after a visit and when she can't fully understand isn't a good time, imo.
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Dickons - we've been working on the car sickness. I used to get it a bunch as a kid (still do if i read in the car). I made her turn of the portable dvd, look at a far away point, open the window
Crick - excellent advise. I'll do that. thanks
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crick
I don't think I'd focus so much on that really. It's her way of processing the visit and dealing with things she can't really articulate. I think I'd focus on basic mommy comfort and also directing it to the positive traits she has from bmom if that is the direction the conversation takes.
I'd also make a point of reminding her of things you and her have in common and you aren't "made" the same. Or her and her friends, her dad, even the dog..."dogs like to sleep on their backs sometimes too".
She's 5...kwim?
There is time to address the more concrete message you want to convey but right after a visit and when she can't fully understand isn't a good time, imo.
This worked very well with my dd who is about the same age as yours. We talked about how she has mama T's eyes and love of horses and also how she is shy around people she doesn't know just like me. She rights her j's backwards just like I did in 1st grade and she loves to swim just like me. In fact, she has a lot more in common with me than she does her birthmom. We have had a few conversations along those lines, how daddy and I have blue eyes and the kids all have brown, but that our son JL is sooooo much like daddy was at that age and B is sooooo much like I was at her age. They just beem from ear to ear when we talk about it and, BTW, it is 100% true!
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