How many visits did you agree too??

We agreed to two. and we have followed through for the past three years. For a 2.5 year old in foster care . . . in Masschusetts 4 would be considered a LOT. 7 would be unheard of. I would consider the following factors (in no particular order): 1. Are open adoption agreements enforceable in your state? What is that process and what are the limits to the enforceability? (in Massachusetts at the conclusion of an enforcement suit, the court can terminate visits, reduce visits, or enforce the visits as written. The Court CANNOT increase the visits or expand in any way the obligations of the adoptive parent). 2. What sunset clauses are included in the open adoption agreement (i.e. if bmom misses 2 visits her right to visits ends, or if a letter is returned to you as undeliverable her right to visits ends, or if you have reason to believe that visits are not in the child's best interest you can suspend and/or terminate them)? 3. How are visits set up? With our son, we call bmom toschedule the time and choose the place. With our current foster daughter, the only way that I would agree to an open adoption with her father is if it was limited to a visitation center, and he is responsible for scheduling, paying and confirming one day in advance. 4. Has bmom been consistent in visiting/following through on her plan? 5. Is bmom cognitively capable of following through with a visitation plan? 6. Does bmom have your contact info/know where you live? These are hard decisions. Make sure that whatever you sign is something that you feel comfortable living with for the next 15+ years. Good luck on your journey.

We agreed to two. and we have followed through for the past three years. For a 2.5 year old in foster care . . . in Masschusetts 4 would be considered a LOT. 7 would be unheard of. I would consider the following factors (in no particular order): 1. Are open adoption agreements enforceable in your state? What is that process and what are the limits to the enforceability? (in Massachusetts at the conclusion of an enforcement suit, the court can terminate visits, reduce visits, or enforce the visits as written. The Court CANNOT increase the visits or expand in any way the obligations of the adoptive parent). 2. What sunset clauses are included in the open adoption agreement (i.e. if bmom misses 2 visits her right to visits ends, or if a letter is returned to you as undeliverable her right to visits ends, or if you have reason to believe that visits are not in the child's best interest you can suspend and/or terminate them)? 3. How are visits set up? With our son, we call bmom toschedule the time and choose the place. With our current foster daughter, the only way that I would agree to an open adoption with her father is if it was limited to a visitation center, and he is responsible for scheduling, paying and confirming one day in advance. 4. Has bmom been consistent in visiting/following through on her plan? 5. Is bmom cognitively capable of following through with a visitation plan? 6. Does bmom have your contact info/know where you live? These are hard decisions. Make sure that whatever you sign is something that you feel comfortable living with for the next 15+ years. Good luck on your journey.

We agreed to 6 until they start school, and then 4 after that (foster care situation). HOWEVER in reality it has been more than that - about one every 4-6 weeks. I guess I started thinking about how often my kids see my friends and family and neighbours and how that doesnt bother me. So why would it bother me if they saw their first mom ... as long as she is supportive and appropriate, it can only benefit them. So far, she has been. We have had to tweak somethings ... but its been working well so far.

We adopted from foster care out of MA and agreed to 4 (more at our discretion; standard legalese). And you're right.. it raised a few eyebrows Since then, J's mom has been pushing for monthly, pretty much. We're sticking with what we agreed to. 4 a year seems fair. its only 20 hours a year (3 hour round trip drive plus 2 hour visit). Initially, of course, its more time - she has a hard time for a week afterwards. We're hoping that will lessen in time

We adopted our DD through foster care and she came to live with us at 18 ,months old.We agreed to 4, but they never happened. Mom came to her first one 4 months after TPR on DD's birthday. We tried to set up other visits, but they never happened because she didn't follow through with planning them. I think it was all too much for her.I was actually happy about that because it gave DD time to recover and bond with us. 4 a year works out to every 12 weeks/3 months and that seemed to be a lot to me at the time, especially when DD needed time away and not to be reminded every 3 months of what she had lost. Now, I'm actively seeking and working on a completely open adoption with both parents( who are not together) and meeting some of the rest of bio family. She has tons of cousinds, aunts, uncles and grandparents who deserve to know her and she them. BTW- she was never abused or neglected by them and I pissed as all get out for her, about the fact that she was in foster care in the first place. It was all wrong. Would never give her back, no way, no how, but I can help her as she grows by having her bio family involved in her. Can't tell you it's easy, but I believe extremely necessary for her and us.

We agreed to 5 visits a year in our legalized contact agreement, but we probably see her about 10 times a year or more depending on family event. I feel that it only benefits our sons relationship with his bmom. Though every five years in the agreement the number of the viists did decrease and at age 15 my son can decide how much contact he wants with her.