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hi i really need some opinions,
i gave my daugher up for adoption 16 years ago in an open adoption. i was hesitant but i was happy after meeting her. ive watched her grow up thru the years and im greatful. however i feel like the adoptive parents totally let me down on the promises they made to me. i gave her up for a better life than i could provide for her emotionally financially and was promised that she would be taken care of. i had confided something to the parents about the bfather and was promised she wouldnt be told til she was 18 they told her two weeks later and expected me to be ok. i thought ok well if they know whats best shes their daughter. but they totally and completely dropped the ball. she could not handle it at all! common sense and myself told them that but idk what they were thinking! now she is totally depressed about the situation which was a year ago and her parents are divorcing! ok now i can accept life changes but her life is turned upside down now and she is very unstable. today she had to be hospitalized for trying to i don't even want to say it!! im so disappointed in them as parents. i feel like going over and taking her back. i could have kept her and damaged her as much as they have. i gave her up for a better life btw they were super great parents. what should i do leave myself out of the pic n let them handle it its a very serious thing to do to yourself, how could they miss the signs? i just think i could be burying her and all i wsnted to do was give her everything i couldnt ever give her.
I am so sorry that your daughter is struggling so. It is one of the most difficult things about open adoption... seeing decisions made we don't agree with and being powerless to do anything.
Can she talk to you? Just be there for her.
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Hi yes Ive talked to her a few times this week. She seems to be getting better I guess but i'm not really sure. She tells me she doesn't want to live with her aparents any more and I tell her the right things but feel totally different. I feel like telling her ok lets figure something out. This situation is very confusing when she tells me something and her mom tells me another and I wonder if I should even be involved in their life but her mom always told me lets do whats best for her, and I don't think her mom had any clue?
whats4dbest
This situation is very confusing when she tells me something and her mom tells me another and I wonder if I should even be involved in their life but her mom always told me lets do whats best for her, and I don't think her mom had any clue?
What kinds of contradictions are there?
Is there any way you can request a meeting with your daughter's doctors and her mom? You might be able to get a clearer picture of the situation if the adults can all meet at the same time with the doctors or psych staff.
When I reunited with my son shortly after his 18th birthday, he was strung out on crystal meth...he also had some serious mental health issues. His parents and I got to the point where we needed to be on the same page with each other if we were serious about helping our son. One of the things we did was meet with his doctors...we also attended a psychiatric team meeting together to discuss goals, discharge planning, and prognosis. It did help me a lot to know his parents' side of things...